Probably
the first thing I notice on the announcement is that you have heard complaints
about news posts not being common enough. To that end, I have an important
thing to inform you of: You are not carrying most of the major news stories of
today. This is a disappointment indeed, as I expect to see the news of the
world when I go to your blog.
Aside from
the prestigious Iceberg Carwash, my main source of news is probably ABC’s
hotline, TELL-me. Yeshiva guys everywhere find it a fulfillment of their days
to call and try new games, such as getting the Main Menu woman to hang up on
you in less than 60 seconds or beating Sean Connery at a game of blackjack.
Now, I only call for news, mind you, when there is no update on this site. This
brings me to my main kvetch.
I called
just now to find out what is going on in the world. I believe this was the
first time since the bombing that there was nothing about it, its victims, or
its perpetrators. But the news today was more important yet, and I am shocked
and perhaps even enraged that you did not carry it.
First of
all, a bunch of unimportant people in New York are trying to change the law for
purchasing cigarettes, and deny me my right to proceed with destroying my lungs
for yet another three years. Not only do those non-progressives refuse to
recognize my right to grass, they also want to hinder me from smoking? Shame on
them, and shame on you for not telling me.
Possibly
even more important, Sylvester Stallone is trying to make a Broadway version of
Rocky in the U.S., since it
was so well received in Germany.
And this you don’t tell me? Blog B’Omer or not, you had better shape up in
cranking out those news posts, or your days of competition with ABC may soon
come to a close.
The number,
if I may do a little advertising for the enemy, is 1888-247-2425. TELL-me,
spewing “Top Stories” 24/7, or Iceberg Carwash, posting quality on those rare,
treasured occasions? This is a decision that must, and will, be made.
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