Early Days of Summer

The two elder childrens went swimming this evening, at about 8:30, Night Swim!

We are into week two of swimming lessons in the early evening at the Town Pool, for the two of the three younger ones.

The three big ones' stuff is packed, the luggage picked up, and they're set to go to camp on Wednesday.

We've spent at least five of the last (late) afternoons swimming.

We've had hot dogs for dinner at least once a week.

We've gone for Slurpees at least three times in the last week and a half.

I have to check the driveway for bikes and riding toys and chalk before I pull out of the garage.

I need to replenish the box of 200 freeze pops.

The deck rails are covered in towels every evening.

We walked to fireworks (at twilight) sat on a blanket, we all reeked of OFF!, surrounded by cousins and neighbors, watched fireworks for close to thirty minutes, and walked home in the dark with a mass of people on the usually empty sidewalks.

The day camp bag is packed.

The car smells like sunscreen.

She's Her Father's Daughter

It can be wonderful as a parent when we see traits of ourselves in our kids. Not things that we've taught, but an innate character trait, that's just there. There are times however, when we cringe when we see these traits.

Right now I'm on the fence about my five year old. Do I cringe, or am I happy? Either way, for now, I'm just laughing.

As mentioned a few days ago, we have some sickies here in the house. Being people who always like to keep tabs on these sorts of things we have three different digital thermometers in the house, and when we take temperature we sometimes "check it" on all of them. (we also have a few outdoor thermometers, so it seems to be a theme here). So two kids right now have fever. The a fore mentioned five year old and the fifteen year old.

Th fifteen year old is fine, and takes Advil as needed, lays on the couch, sleeps and drinks lots of fluid. The five year old seems to think it's a competition, and is OBSESSING about the numbers. Every time we take her temperature she HAS to know what the older one had, and which is higher.

So much so, that when she recently registered 103, she didn't want to take any medicine (Advil/MotrinTylenol), so that she wouldn't lose her HIGH FEVER status. I think she's crazy.

Then I think about her father. He is both highly competitive, and totally a numbers person. Remember the thermometers? Though to be fair, that's a lot of me, but it's in my DNA, but that's just knowing the numbers, it's not about WHO HAS THE HIGHEST!!!!

She's slowly coming around to the idea that she was given Tylenol, but within 10 minutes she asked me to take it again, just to see what it's up to. It helped that the older one already took Advil and had no fever.

Like her father. They're both nuts.

The Words We Use....

In early June, off duty police office Omar Edwards was shot and killed by a fellow member of the NYPD. The media is referring to this as a "friendly fire" shooting. I beg to differ.

I am a big believer that the words we use, even for ourselves help frame narratives, and put a spin on things, positively or negatively in our minds and the minds of others. I think it's important to not use inflammatory language or hyperbole when it will not be received in a satirical way if that's how it's meant. When someone doesn't think some else is particularly smart, it doesn't mean they should use the word "dumb," it doesn't even mean they think the person is dumb, and that's an even better reason NOT to use that type of word.

So that's just an example. Back to the cop. Officer Edwards was chasing a guy who was breaking into his car, and had his gun out. When the on duty cops showed up he turned to them, gun in hand and they shot him. A tragic accident, a terrible tragedy, a sad story about the death of a good man, but friendly fire?

I am not talking about the racial component, but in my mind friendly fire is a gun fight in which two sides are shooting it out, and in the hail of bullets and chaos of the moment someone shoots one of his own while indiscriminately shooting at the enemy.

That's not what happened here. A cop shot an off duty cop, on purpose, because the off duty cop did not identify himself, and turned to the guys on duty with a gun in his hand. I just can't think of this as friendly fire.

Oink, Oink?

Two of my kids are sick. Two others don't feel well, the cheese eater won't let me take her temperature and the temporal thermometer works very well...as a doorstop.

I hope they all get sick in the next day or so then I can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can also stop worrying about whether or not my big kids will have to start camp late.

There's a lot of speculation about swine flu, but the pediatricians have stopped swabbing for it, and one pediatrician I know told me that some of his patients who presented with flu like symptoms tested negative for flu. Just a plain old virus. I guess if you're not the H1N1 virus it's like being a backup singer for a major star.

I mean, C'mon. When you call your friends or family and you say your kids have swine flu, that is cool. When you say "my kids have a virus," nobody really cares. I mean no one is making up songs about a boring old virus without a cool name and a WHO designation. Really, wouldn't you rather go to Harvard then University of Phoenix Online?

I mean, how many people does a virus have to infect to get a little respect?

Kidding aside, I found this article fascinating.

I Really Want To Agree With Him.....

France's President Nicholas Sarkozy (who I really like very much) has announced that he would like to ban the Burqa from France. The burqa has been banned in public schools in France since 2004, but this would be a more sweeping ban, to include "in public."

On the surface I think this is a good thing, but then when I think about it a little bit more, I'm not so thrilled.

On the one hand, the burqa is worn by the most extreme Muslims who interpret the Koran in a way that makes this a necessity for women going out in public. Because only very stringent (extremist?) Muslims such as the Taliban hold this position, this may just be a way for the French to keep these Muslims out of France. Though it is possible that all it will achieve is these women being confined to their homes, since their husbands will not let them out burqa less. Therein lies the motivation for this, Sarkozy feels that women are forced to wear the burqa and would never do so willingly. I am not sure that a woman who is living an extreme Muslim life does not subscribe to all the facets of it.

On the other hand, this can open a door for governments to stick their noses into religions, and interpretations. This happens already when a religion endangers or imperils children or other adherents o breaks the law, but clothing, as confining and "debasing" as a burqa may be, opens a door I'd rather keep closed.

If Muslims can argue that wearing a burqa is based on interpretation of their religion then the French Government needs to stay out of it unless it's in a governmental function. Meaning, if a woman comes to a government agency she can be expected to be asked to remove the burqa for identification purposes, or an identification picture ( I see no reason why an accommodation can't be made to have a female do this).

If Governments take it upon themselves to free religionists of their chosen way when it is at odds with normal western social mores, the slope is slippery indeed. Will Orthodox Jewish women be told to remove their wigs, and hike up their skirts and sleeves, because it is not socially acceptable to wear that sort of garment in the summer, and seems confining to others?

Will Hasidic men be asked to remove their fur hats (shtreimels)because it offends animal rights activists, and it is not clearly written that one should wear one? I understand if a company, or government agency does not want an employee to wear a yarmulke or tzizis showing, but imagine if you open the door to a government deciding how one should interpret the laws of his religion.

Sarkozy says the burqa is not a sign of religion, but if Muslims don't feel that way then he is overstepping.

Ayatollah This Was Gonna Happen

At last, all of the intrigue surrounding last week's Iranian presidential election has been conclusively settled.
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Iran's Supreme Leader, said that there was "definitive victory" and no rigging in the disputed elections.

Thank goodness. Now, there's no remaining doubt.How could anyone possibly doubt the veracity of the opinion of someone with the title "Supreme Leader?"

(As a side question, I wonder, does one need to be married to a sheep to be eligible for that title, or is that a perk?)

Based upon the Supreme Leader's confirmation of the "unrigged" election results, we now know the following:

* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was re-elected President of Iran, winning more than 60% of the total vote. He won in each of Iran's cities, districts or Achmertrjkegfhhjfers, as they're referred to in Farsi.

* He has also been elected;

--The Governor of Wyoming

--A Congressman from the 8th district of California

--A "alternate" member of the Cedar Rapids, Iowa community planning board

--Homecoming Queen at DeMatha High School in suburban Washington, D.C.

--One of People Magazine's 50 most beautiful people

He has also been elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

On a serious note, it is quite obvious that Ahmadinejad is the type of ruler who will never be voted out of office. I suspect that the only way to get rid of him would be to carry him out of office.

In a box.

You Call That A Scam?

Perhaps Bernie Madoff has ruined it for everyone, in more ways than we had imagined.

Today, I read a story about someone who had perpetrated an $11 million Ponzi Scheme, and I was positively indignant. All I could think of was, "How could you people actually bother me to read about someone who only made away with $11 million? What a loser!"

You see, we're all jaded now. Any scam that involves less than a nine-figure dollar amount is not even worth our time. Ponzi Scheme? A Ponzi Rounding Error is more like it.

However, once you look past the puny dollar amount, the story was actually quite interesting. Here's an account, from Fox News:

David Hernandez, who ran Chicago Sports Webio with Mike North, disappeared Monday and was reported missing about 7 p.m. by his wife when he didn't come home, said Downers Grove Police Sgt. David Bormann.

Hernandez, 48, called his wife that afternoon and made comments "referencing his well being," Bormann told MyFOXChicago.com.

"It was enough to cause alarm with his wife," the sergeant said.

The 48-year-old money manager already is being investigated by federal regulators for running an alleged Ponzi operation in which he is accused of raking in more than $11 million from investors in 12 states, according to an SEC lawsuit.

Hernandez is a convicted felon who filed for bankruptcy three times, according to police.

Hernandez is described as 5 feet, 10 inches tall and weighing 205 pounds. He was last seen wearing a burgundy shirt with khaki pants.

Allow me to make a few points here, my acquaintances:

(1) His wife reported him missing at 7PM because he wasn't home yet? Is it possible that he was simply stuck in traffic on the way home?

(2) His wife was alarmed because he made comments "referencing his well being." That seems flimsy to me. I could imagine how this would play out if this story happened with FBB and me:

MBB: Hi. About my well-being...
FBB: Yeah?
MBB: Let's just say I'm not too optimistic about the future...of my well-being
FBB: Okay, so what else is new?
MBB: I can envision not being so...well.
FBB: How much caffeine have you had today?
MBB: I'll get to the point. I'm strongly considering killing myself...which would render my well-being completely moot.
FBB: Remind me. Where do you keep the statements for our investment accounts?

In any event, I can assure you that FBB wouldn't call the cops by 7PM. She's not that pathetic. I hope she'd wait at least until it got dark outside, for goodness sake.

(3) He was last seen wearing a burgundy shirt with khaki pants. No issue there. Sounds like a reasonably comfortable fugitive outfit.

(4) Hernandez is described as 5 feet, 10 inches tall and weighing 205 pounds.

I don't know this guy. Perhaps he's very muscular. On the surface, though, if he's 5' 10" and weighs 205, it seems as though he's on the overweight side. The problem is that these types of descriptions rarely mention other, important factors, like body fat percentage or body mass index (BMI). Sure, every so often, the description will mention that the person in question has a "muscular" or "stocky" build, but otherwise, it's up to the reader's imagination.

As for me, while I can honestly say that I have absolutely no intention of becoming a fugitive in the near future, nor of committing any felony of any sort, this story scares me. A story such as this one explains why I'm currently attempting to lose some weight.

Certainly, there are other reasons for my current diet phase. For one thing, I'd like to get into shape before my 40th birthday in about 4-1/2 months, but more than anything, I'm worried that if something came up which caused me to be a fugitive, someone would read a description of me in the paper, and the first thing he/she would say would be "That dude could really stand to lose a few pounds." That would be terrible. (Although I weighed significantly less than Mr. Hernandez when I started my diet, just for the record).

In the unfortunate event that I did need to go on the lam, here's how I'd like the description to read.

MBB is described as 5 feet, 9-3/4 inches tall, and carries his weight reasonably well. He was last seen wearing a well-tailored navy blue (or charcoal grey) suit with a well-starched and virtually wrinkle-free light blue shirt made of a long-staple cotton yarn that is ultra-fine, yet resilient and durable. He was wearing a nice red (or burgundy...crimson if I was in a rush) tie with a geometric pattern, which featured a perfect knot. His shoes, quite obviously made of fine materials by talented craftsmen, were polished to a high gloss. The suspect is believed to be neither armed nor dangerous, but is to be considered very stylish. His family is offering a small reward for his safe return, and a larger reward if you just keep him.

The Theory of the Idiot Class

Today, the White House unveiled its plans for changing the way banks and financial markets in the U.S. operate. While the proposed changes, outlined in an 89-page document, were very wide-ranging, they seemed to be based on one underlying idea:

The current financial crisis came about due to a lack of proper regulatory oversight.

While I agree that our regulatory approach could use some fine-tuning, I disagree with the simplicity of the administration's premise. Other factors, beyond regulatory oversight, were at play here. More on that soon.

To be sure, there are several elements of the plan with which I agree. Hedge funds should be required to register with the SEC, just as other investment vehicles do. Trading of all derivatives should take place on exchanges, and not on an over-the-counter basis. Our organized financial exchanges work quite well; as a group, they have the capacity to make markets in even the most exotic of securities.

Adjusting compensation practices to align the interests of corporate executives with
their shareholders? I'm all for it. Let's all just understand that this concept is synonymous with "stock option-based compensation." I recall how stock-based compensation was all the rage in the 1990s, until the stock market surged in the latter half of that decade, and we heard reports of corporate executives making tens of millions of dollars annually, when they exercised those options. The liberals howled, claiming that executives were simply manipulating their company's share prices. (I don't really need to even bother explaining how preposterous that claim actually is). In fact, some tweed-wearing, tenured buffoons went so far as to suggest that Chief Financial Officers not receive any stock options, and should only be paid in cash, to remove the temptation to "cook the books," in order to drive their company's stock price higher. Of course, once you pay executives only cash-based compensation, and their company's stock prices stagnate, or decline, those same people will decry the travesty of paying so much money to executives while their shareholders suffer, bringing us full circle to the "new" idea of paying a major proportion of executive pay in the form of stock. See how this works?

In any event, Wall Street and the banking system had to know that increased regulatory scrutiny was unavoidable, so I can't imagine that they're too upset about this plan, which is vague enough to not have much bite, and will be changed hundreds of times before it's actually passed by Congress.

As I mentioned above, my issue with the plan revolves around the idea that lack of proper regulation was the cause of our current problems, and that increased regulation will prove to be an adequate cure.

For one thing, that idea is very self-serving, which is what I've come to expect from this administration. They might as well have entitled this plan the "Government Employee Full-Employment Act of 2009." In its current form, the plan advocates for the creation of more regulatory agencies, as well as the expansion of existing ones. In just the first 150 days of the Obama administration, we have witnessed on several occasions that these guys believe that bigger, more intrusive government is the answer to everything from financial market volatility to the auto industry's woes. It's a troubling trend, to say the least.

My biggest issue with the plan is that it doesn't address, or even directly acknowledge, another major cause of the current economic crisis: People. Stupid ones, to be exact.

While you can argue that the housing market bubble was caused by aggressive lenders, and the off-loading of risk via the often-dubious securitization of mortgages, to at least some extent, foolish borrowing was to blame. Simply put, in many cases, people took loans that they could never realistically hope to repay. In other instances, people accepted sage advice from well-meaning relatives and friends, like "Don't worry, you'll just refinance. Housing prices never go down." We haven't heard much from these amateur Milton Friedmans since most of the country's major housing markets entered "Neverland" in mid 2006, but they're still out there. In fact, they're breeding.

I'd like to hear a plan for dealing with these people, as well as the self-proclaimed investing experts whose investment rationale essentially amounts to "It can't possibly land on red four times in a row, can it?"

Yale Economics professor Robert J. Shiller, in his book "The Subprime Solution," recommends a sort of national education program, aimed at teaching the masses the basics of mortgage borrowing, with an emphasis on risk.

I will admit to being somewhat partial to Professor Shiller's views. At the moment, he is probably my favorite contemporary economist. (I know, that's like making a list entitled "Top 10 prostate exams.") He coined the phrase "irrational exuberance," which was borrowed a couple of years later by Alan Greenspan, to describe the overheated U.S. stock market of the late 1990s. He co-founded the Case Shiller Index of U.S. housing prices, which essentially predicted the housing market bubble, and remains the most widely-used indicator of housing price trends. He does a good job of blending academics with a pragmatic approach, in recommending policy changes. However, I'm not so sure about the practicality of his "educate the masses" idea. Perhaps some form of standard risk disclosure could be used, which a mortgage applicant would have to declare that he/she has received and read, before any loan could be approved. Needless to say, that's hardly a fail-safe method.

For now, we'll just regulate everything to the hilt, and hope that it works.


Unless, of course, there's enough stimulus money left to perform a few million brain transplants.

Now He Has A Legacy

If Michael Bloomberg was afraid that he would only be remembered as the guy who shut down Broadway to vehicular traffic, and installed bike lanes where automobiles used to roam, or had a hand in renaming a perfectly named bridge, he can rest easy.

He is halfway to his ultimate legacy. The NY State Assembly, yes THAT NY State Assembly- the hotbed of mature political discourse and upstanding ethics and morality-just passed bill A01224. A Bill that if it passes the Senate ( a real bastion of above board politics), should be named the Michael Bloomberg Law.

If enacted, this law, too late of course for the good citizens of NY City, ensures that term limits that have been passed by referendum only be changed by referendum. To quote the language in the bill:

...In this circumstance, even where one conceptually disagrees with term
limits, the most appropriate mechanism to change the law is to revisit
the issue with the public in a referendum. Otherwise, the integrity of
our democracy is undermined, particularly when elected officials who are
self-interested in the outcome overturn the expressed will of the
voters.

Recently, we have witnessed the corrosive impact that such a legislative
maneuver can have on the democratic process in New York City. In 1993
and 1996, New York City residents voted by referendum to limit the
tenure of municipal officeholders to two terms, or a total of eight
years. Not only did the public express its support for term limits
twice, it did so in considerable fashion.

Nevertheless, in direct contravention of the public will, the New York
City Council passed legislation extending the term limits of municipal
officeholders to a total of twelve years. The voters, understandably,
reacted with outrage and felt relegated to the sidelines of the public

square even though their opinions had been clearly expressed on two
occasions.

There you go Mike, this addition to election law should definitely carry your name. How else will we remember the most important part of your legacy? If you have money, and you want something enough just do whatever it takes to get it. Who can run against the Bloomberg war chest AND the attendant media coverage a sitting Mayor enjoys?

Michael Bloomberg, Subverter of Democracy.

Stay tuned for an artist's rendering.........

I'm Sure There Are Good Ones Out There...Somewhere

Last night was my second daughter's elementary school graduation. She has finished that chapter of her life, and now will open the door to high school, and begin a new adventure.

They say that anything worth doing is going to be difficult. The harder something is, the more effort you put in, the more likely it is to stick.

In that case, she and all those in attendance have GRADUATED with a capital G.

Don't misread this. This girl is smart and works hard and thank God has no problems in school. I'm talking about the difficult, arduous, tedious, mind numbing, time sucking, sleep inducing, chair fidgeting, ceremony itself.

This particular school either does not know how to throw a decent graduation (and I've suggested a few things over the years!!!), or does not know how to choose decent speakers and programming....or both.

First, you know you're in for a long night when the Emcee gets up, and the first thing he does is explain why he's the emcee. No one cares. Second, when the same emcee announces there "are no words," and then continues to speak for five to seven minutes, it does not bode well for how things are going to proceed. But, it's my own fault for not realizing what was to come when he claimed someone needed "no introduction" and plowed on with one anyway. (MBB noted that he would love to hear someone introduced as "this next speaker really needs a whole lot of introducing, so here goes") Really, if you're going to use lots of cliches and platitudes in your speech, at least make sure they actual mean what you are trying to say. And again, we all have kids graduating and want to see them get diplomas, hear the class representatives, etc, etc., we do not really care about you and your personal story when it has no compelling lesson or connection to anything you said before or after said story.

Also, if you feel compelled to have a guest speaker at a graduation (which is really done all over, a keynote commencement speaker) then all other speakers do not have to give more than thanks to all of those who worked hard to help shape the students, some quick wise words for them to begin their new journey, and let's move on.

At least THIS year the guest speaker was good. His message was on target for these girls and was the equivalent in this world of the type of keynote speaker a major university would get, so kudos for that, but still, it was superfluous. ( as opposed to the year the guest speaker negated 8 years of hard work, and the coming four years of hard work by telling the girls they really didn't need to learn anything, and they could best serve God by serving....cookies!!!)

Equally superfluous was the performance the graduates put on, which mimicked every performance they've done, literally, since kindergarten. Stand up, say two lines, pass the mic.

The ideal ceremony would go thusly:

Processional, if you insist on an emcee, then one who gets up thanks the teachers principals administration, and then immediately calls up by NAME ONLY, the representative of the administration/principals, who gives a quick (no more than five minutes) words of wisdom speech, followed by the emcee ONLY introducing BY NAME the Valedictorians, their speeches, a quick slide show of these kids through the years (the school has pictures through all the grades), diplomas (gasp! awards, perhaps, though it's fine that they give them in private I think it would at least add an element of suspense to the proceedings) and recessional. Go home for cake and watermelon.

I'm sure this exists somewhere, and I've been to graduations at the high school my kids are in, and I have to say it's pretty good (the speeches are actually interesting, and quick, possibly also a function of there NOT being 95 kids in the grade!), but I've got three kids still in this elementary school, and one more still going. I doubt it'll ever change.

At least there's texting.

Not As Bad As I Thought

Apparently, exercise can grow on you. Who knew? Well, probably those of you with gym memberships, aerobic dvds, and set walking partners and times.

I'm not quite exercising regularly, but it's definitely close to twice a week, and I'm actually able to keep up with my friends. Though I discovered this week, after much theoretical deliberation, that yes, it is easier to walk when you are NOT pushing a 15 pound carriage holding a 30 pound two year old (the cheese has to go somewhere!).

So brain and body are getting more in sync, but it's probably more about the social aspect that gets me to go. They were talking about swimming laps in the summer. As I mentioned before I don't find that to be very social, and if it is I'm not sure the benefits are all that great.

I guess we'll see when it stops raining.

Thunder!!!

I'm not sure what it is about weather events that I enjoy so much. Maybe it's the break from the everyday, or maybe it's seeing the wonder of the natural world, probably it has something to do with not living in Kansas or Florida.

It's very easy for me to love storms and the idea of being in a hurricane, because I don't live in a part of the country where tornadoes are a threat, or hurricanes are likely. We've had a few hurricanes here and there over the years, but being well inland there've been downed trees and power outages, but minimal to no flooding.

So having said all that, I love thunderstorms. I love watching the lightning, anticipating how loud the thunder will be, and having the sky get as dark as sunset at anytime of the day. I especially love it when I have the opportunity to nap during the day, while it's pouring and lightning and thundering. A) It gets nice and dark B)The rain is lulling white noise C)It's nasty out, you have to stay in, why not nap?!?!?

Five year old is afraid of thunder so if it's night or early morning (or nap time!) she'll come snuggle with me. How great is that?

One of my favorite Spring/Summer activities is sitting on the covered front porch while it's storming just a few feet away.

Of course you can worry about losing power, or appliances if lightning strikes the house, but why ruin a good thing?

He May Not Be A Lawyer....

I have another brother.

Yes, I know, I don't mention him that much, probably because he doesn't drive me crazy quite the same way as the first one.

This brother has saved me a few ducats over the past few months, given me a real life lesson in the power of marketing, and just in general is quite wise. All that from one three minute conversation.

A few months ago, on a Friday afternoon I was on the phone with this brother. I had just been to the candy store, and was very excited because I was about to perform a taste test. For years, the store I had been to sold funky flavored jelly beans under its own brand name. Recently, it had brought Jelly Belly Brand into its store, replete with a beautiful display and special Jelly Belly bags. Some of the flavors were different, but for the most part they were the same.

So I filled a small bag with Jelly Belly buttered popcorn flavored jelly beans, and a bag of the store brand butter flavored popcorn jelly beans. I picked that flavor, because I figured it was such a distinctive taste it would be obvious if the taste was off or different in any way.

I took into account the popularity of the NEW Jelly Belly display in the store, and did not deduct any points for freshness, as the new is always more popular than the old, the store brand butter flavored popcorn jelly beans were probably not flying out of the store quite as quickly as they once did.

Anyway, I was on the phone with this brother, and relayed all this information to him, and then tested the two jelly beans. I proceeded to explain the freshness issue, but determined that overall the taste was so close I didn't see a difference.

To which he replied:

"I can't imagine what could be so different about a jelly bean that it is worth $3.00 more per pound. It's a jelly bean."


INDEED.

Says Who?

Everybody loves Wikipedia (even if they sometimes have trouble pronouncing it). Then, every so often there's a big media harumphing because there can be inaccurate information, and how dare those little people go out and try to get their own information without relying on the almighty reporters. Not that I am really diminishing inaccurate entries on Wikipedia, it really can be a problem, especially since a lot of people don't necessarily realize that the fact checking on wikipedia is well...

How about I just give this example from a Wikipedia entry:

Chinese Jump rope is a fun game.

Could have fooled me. I'm sure to some degree it is a lot of fun, because why else would my children play every night, but the attendant screaming and shouting that goes with it really makes me wonder. I mean, I see that they want to play, enough to deal with the verbal abuse and ear shattering shouting that accompanies every other turn. One would think that this would be some form of deterrent to those being admonished. One would be wrong.

There was a short window of time here that we banished Chinese Jump rope. Last year, when we ended up with one kid with staples in her scalp and one with stitches right next to her eye. A week apart from each other, both a day before their birthdays!

Metal head slipped backwards while jumping and banged her head on the fireplace. Stitches girl banged her face in the corner of a table while playing at school.

Nowhere on Wikipedia does it say: "Chinese Jump rope is a dangerous game."

I decided, especially when the bigger girls play that perhaps it should only happen in the basement, where I don't have to worry about destroying a ceiling below or even the floor, right there. It's completely forbidden upstairs, especially after the night that eldest child convinced five year old to jump off her dresser so she could take a picture of her in mid-air, and the spotlight bulb flew out of the socket in the room below. Now five year old child is a small sort of girl, but that bulb crashed down anyway, therefore, there will be NO Chinese jump rope upstairs.

Truthfully, how do you complain about a game that is essentially just a big ol' rubber band, and a bunch of kids (ostensibly) playing together.

C'mon!!!!!!

So I was recently speaking to my brother (the lawyer!), and he was telling me about how he had gone out to eat in Manhattan. A very nice place to eat out indeed, and the choices run the gamut from gourmet to greasy, spotless to dirty spoon, and upscale to below dive level.

Now, my brother (you know what he does for a living), is not one who regularly avails himself of the gastronomic pleasures in the City that Never Sleeps, so when he does I like to talk to him about it.

Truth be told, I will talk to anyone about what they've ordered in a restaurant because A) I love food B) It gives me an idea of what to try or stay away from if I go there C)maybe I'll think about making a variation on that dish, perhaps you will mention a combination of ingredients I may not have thought of (so yes, you're welcome at Chez Blog Berg for sweet breads with apricots and artichoke bottoms anytime. I just need a little advance warning).

He mentioned that he went to a restaurant that for many many many years was called "My Most favorite Dessert." They recently changed their name to "My Most favorite Food," because although they began as a bakery in Long Island 20 years ago, they opened a restaurant/bakery in the city a few years after that, they felt the name change better reflected their full range of services (bakery, catering, restaurant).

Anywho, I asked my dear brother what he ordered, and of course I was disappointed by his answer (I should have asked his wife, she orders much better than he does). I've been to this establishment a few times, so I figured he would redeem himself when he told me what he got to end the meal. I was dreaming of vicariously enjoying his warm peach pie with streusel topping, or decadent cheese cake, tiramasu, white chocolate mousse cake, shadow cake, or some other incredibly rich confection that I could drool over in my mind.

His reply was:

"We didn't get dessert, we stopped at Dunkin Donuts on the way home."

A reply though shocking and ridiculous, certainly one I could live with, as all these wonderful confection are six times the price of a donoughnut. However, it was his next question that threw me:

"Do they have good desserts there?"

I responded, in a voice that could possibly wake the dead:

"IT'S RIGHT THERE, IN THE NAME OF THE RESTAURANT!!!!!!"

He replied: "Not anymore."

A Lawyer, indeed.