Why Would You Ask?

The day after winter vacation, and the kids are all in the classroom, one of the later periods of the day. I understand it's hard for the kids to be back in school, and you want them to settle down, forty five minutes until dismissal.

But there has to be a better way to do that, then asking everyone what they did on winter vacation. The teacher has been there for many, many years. She knows there are varying degrees of economic and social
status amongst her students. She knows that some kids had major vacations, some were busy everyday, and some, literally did nothing. or close to it.

I am not really sure why, in 7th grade, this is something that needs to be formally discussed in a "go around the classroom" sort of way.

Now I am not one of those "trophies for everyone" kind of people, but this is different. This solidifies the status of certain girls in the class, and puts others in the realm of just wanting. I do not expect the school or teachers to advise the kids not to discuss it. I do expect the teachers to be more sensitive.

The girls were given the opportunity to "not answer," but that's not really better. Because mostly, most times, it's the kids who did nothing or not too much who will defer. Those who partied in the sun are likely to be thrilled to answer.

The whole thing makes me sad.

Must Be Quite A Show

Throughout the year the local community college hosts many shows- a Home show, an RV show, a Hunting and Fishing show. This weekend is the Tri-State Auto show.

Every year they put the sign in front of a local eatery, and every year I want to take a picture of it. This year MBB was headed to the parking lot across the street, and he obliged and took this picture for me.

It cracks me up every time:

An Open Letter to the Smug, Self-Righteous, Middle-Aged, Hippie Woman Whose Liberal Arts College Education Did Not Include a Primer on the Proper Use of a Supermarket's Self-Checkout Machine

I'm sure you're really proud of yourself.

Acting all responsibly and earth-aware, you insist on using your own canvas shopping bags to pack your groceries, rather than those evil, destructive plastic shopping bags the rest of us unenlightened folks use to carry our freshly-acquired exploitative products. Obviously, the aforementioned bags need to be unfolded slowly, lovingly, lest their biodegradable feelings get injured.

Surely, each and every one of your well-thought-out purchases needs to be gazed upon, contemplatively, before you actually scan it. Simply purchasing things and paying for them hastily is so bourgeois.

I can't fault you for not noticing the massive line forming behind you as you spent about 10 minutes completing a task that takes the average tooth-deprived, inbred citizen of the supermarket's host township approximately 2 minutes to successfully complete. After all, one cannot be rushed when contemplating the plight of laboratory animals, and whether or not the shampoo you're purchasing (for someone else, obviously) played any part in their tragic suffering.    

Just know this, Planet Protector.

(1) When the machine beeps, it means that your product was scanned. There's no need to scan again for a second opinion. You were buying broccoli, not considering an invasive surgical procedure.

(2) As I glared at you throughout the entire duration of your check-out odyssey, I was releasing enough negative ions into the atmosphere to kill a dolphin that had been swimming off the coast of New Zealand. That one's on you, lady.

REJECTED!!!

Here is something I submitted to Mishpacha Family First, for the back page Life Takes column. I submitted it after another story about a bubby who slaved away in the kitchen over latkes or kugel. The Bubbies of today are different, but the underlying theme is the same.  It was rejected:

Chremsel on the last day of Pesach, stuffed cabbage on Simchas Torah, kreplach on erev Yom Kippur— surely there are those who wait to make these delicacies, to know they are serving their families traditional foods made in a traditional way. Surely, there are those who serve those goodies knowing their family waits for it, and knowing that they are serving a special Shabbos Yom Tov food. Some of the best writers regale us with stories of their Bubbys whipping up dishes, bringing their tantalizing treats to life on the page in a way that makes your mouth water. They evoke the aromas, tastes and closeness of Shabbos and Yom Tov, making us wistful for the days that come weekly or once a year.

But not every special dish is special in that way. In fact, perhaps the kitchen aspect of our lives should not weigh so heavily on us as we seek its meaning.  Sometimes our cooking is important because of what it means for just a few people.

The people who count most.

My mother in law doesn’t get up really early in the morning to be in the kitchen (though she is always up early), she doesn’t make a lot of old recipes that have been handed down through many generations (though she does make a few of those), and she didn’t have a hard life growing up in Europe. No, my mother in law grew up in the ‘50s in Boro Park, and she has great stories to tell my kids, and she often does. Her days of making gefilte fish from scratch, and chopping up liver are behind her, and not something her grandchildren experienced. Yet, her food, and in particular her soup evokes one thing for my kids: love.

My in laws live in Florida now, and are not in New York all that often. When they come, it’s usually only for a few days. But my mother in law will almost always make her soup for us to put in the freezer. It’s not a fancy soup, or very hard to make, but the kids wait for “Bubby Soup.”  On those crazy Thursday nights, when we are expecting a big crowd for Shabbos, (and for some reason the kids still want supper) they will always ask, “Do we have any Bubby Soup in the freezer?”

Could I make it myself? Absolutely, and then we would have it all the time, but what’s special about the soup goes so far beyond its actual taste.

No Chanukah party is complete without the warming embrace of Bubby’s soup. There are latkes there too, and they are excellent, but if there is one thing everyone would miss, it would be that liquid love. Coming to our house for a bas mitzvah party, or Shabbos, or just a visit, my father in law will walk in and say, “I have soup for you in the car—can we put it in the freezer?” And then, while we are shivering in the winter in New York, and Bubby and Zaidy are walking around Miami in shirtsleeves, we can have our soup and let the spoonful of vegetables and barley warm us inside and out.

.Don’t get me wrong, my mother in law is a good cook who in her time made two weddings in her house, cooked everything from scratch for huge Shabbosim, and Yomim Tovim, and makes a really good fluffy and crispy potato kugel. To people besides her children and grandchildren she isn’t particularly known for this soup. It isn’t traditional in the sense that everyone knows someone who makes it. It isn’t a must-have at a Shabbos or Yom Tov meal. It’s not a recipe that goes back very far at all. It’s just something Bubby made, that everyone loved, so she makes it as often as she can, and lets us stock up on it. She lets the kids know how much she loves them and that she is thinking of them. It’s better than the trips to the pizza store and the presents she always brings. She doesn’t ask us if we want it, or if we need it, because she knows that it is always welcome, always the right size and always appreciated. And it evolved into this naturally, without any sort of mystical component. Just love.  

A few years ago my children asked my husband if she made “Bubby Soup” when he was a kid. He responded, “Yes, but we just called it soup.”

What Do You Believe?

Conspiracy theories can be fun. Sometimes the idea of a big cover-up of something more than what we "know" gives a little thrill, as people think they've detected something  and hope to possible bring some powerful entities to their knees with their revelations.

The problem with some conspiracy theories is that not only do they imply that governments kill their own citizens for political gain, or issues reform, but that they often take years of planning, and the money comes from...where? (9/11 theories all imply that Cheney started planning well before he was in office, and had special top secret government scientific products applied to the inner structures of the buildings for at least a year before the attacks.)

But the larger issue is the loose ends. Many conspiracy theories discount the fact that so many random people end up being involved, and witnessing things, that it would be nearly impossible to get them all on board, even if each was threatened or paid off.

Take Sandy Hook for example. This article talks about a neighbor of the school who is being harassed because he is "a part of the conspiracy" to change gun laws in this country. It follows on the heels of a professor in Florida also opining that the government murdered 20 children, and then claimed it was one lone crazy guy. So all the first responders, all the families, all the teachers in the school, all the kids, they got to all of them. And not a single one is slipping. Man, a government that can pull that off should be able to, I don't know, figure how to fix the economy, maybe?

When I was younger I loved conspiracy theories, and some were believable to me then.  The only one that I still believe today is TWA flight 800 that went down in Moriches Bay on Long Island. The reason I believe it is two-fold: One,  no one said the conspiracy was in place BEFORE the event, just that it was covered up after the fact (that it was either a terrorist that shot it out of the sky, or that during Naval exercises in the area it was accidentally shot down.) Two, and this is what I am talking about above-a bunch of random people who lived in the area, or were on the water that night all said they saw something go up right before the plane went down.

Cover-ups? Maybe. Planned disasters/terror? Please. The government can hardly get two agencies to work together to do good. And in this age of twitter and facebook, when everyone is a reporter? I am not a believer.

Sign of the Times

Today was dreary and cold. As much as the meteorologists claimed it would be 50 degrees and sunny- it was not. It was real winter bleak, a white grey day with a chill accompanying it.

In those conditions I found myself, with my constant, small, two year old companion, at the local coffee place/cafe.  I ordered a latte, and as the milk was loudly frothing, the barrista pulled out her phone and was half turned toward the counter.  The young gentleman in my company asked if he could have a muffin. This is the exact conversation that followed:

" Sure, you can have muffin, we have to ask the girl who works here, and then you can have it."

"She not working, she texting somebody."

Sacrificial Secretary

President Obama nominated two controversial candidates for both Secretary of Defense and the director of the CIA.

As much as he is an idealogue, and likely agrees with many of the opinions expressed by his nominees, I wonder if they are really his first choice.

Republicans suffered a crushing blow in the election, one they really felt they could win, and should win. Then, on the heels of that ,they had to pass fiscal cliff legislation that was best for the country at this time, but not legislation they would have willingly passed.

They are itching to say no, to hand the President a defeat. So he served one (or two) up on a silver platter. "Here, get your licks in on this guy, send me a message and let's move on."  For Secretary of State, Kerry was done quickly, he ran for President, thus he has been fully vetted, and there are no skeletons. His was a no-brainer pick, and it was done early enough to not cause a stir. (not that it would have. see: "no brainer pick").

But Hagel, and Brennan to a lesser extent, are polarizing figures. The White House must know this.

I just wonder who they really have in mind.

Mazal Tov, Please Don't Leave

I touched on this a little while ago in a very ranty blogpost.

Well, since that time my fourth grade daughter's teacher got engaged. For those who don't recall (or never knew!) fourth graders are about   nine or ten years old. It's when a lot of the "real" learning starts, and school habits are formed.  A lot of what the kids are learning is less spoon fed than it was before, and it is really a bridge year to being an "older" girl.

The teacher, who is fantastic, has connected with  the girls and they LOVE her, is marrying a guy who will learn for awhile, and there was talk about whether or not she will move to Lakewood after the wedding. She plans to get married around March, which leaves three months of school. Three months where that last step to fifth grade makes a difference.

I don't know if she is going to go or not. All I know is that one young man's idea that he can only be successful if he learns in a place 90 miles from where his wife -to-be has a job, will affect the lives of 28 little, soon to be big, girls. I mentioned before the lack of sacrifice from those who learn,but  if one always learns in optimal conditions when he is young and enthusiastic how does he know, if he wants to learn "long-term," that when conditions are not optimal he will stick with it? I am not saying that young men should "test" themselves to see if they can learn in conditions that MAY be less than what they say are optimal. However, if the situation comes up, and when speaking of finishing out a school year it is a finite amount of time, what better way to regain a "geshmak" for learning than trying in adverse conditions (if they will even be that!) first.

And really, these are young , very young men. Who is to say it's really about the learning, and not about  conformity and sticking with their friends. The Torah is everywhere, and should be more than personal. Is there a more beautiful way to start off your married life than sacrificing for the klal? These 28 little girls are, like you, the future of klal yisrael. They should be respected as such. Their needs, their education, their "geshmak" for learning, especially in the foundational stage is as important, if not more important.

Teaching is not a job. It's much more than that. It comes with a responsibility. That responsibility extends to the young men, who saw something in the girls who chose to become teachers.

They should respect that commitment.

Welcome to the Fortune-Tellers Convention

I did not really expect to be writing this post.

Apparently, Maya Angelou had been telling her followers that the world was coming to an end on December 21st, obviating the need for another stock market contest.

However, we are still here, so it is time for the Fifth Annual IcebergCarwash Stock Market Contest.

The rules are simple.

Using the comments section of this blog post, give us your prediction for the closing price of the S&P 500 Index will be on December 31, 2013. The contestant who comes closest will win the contest, and possibly win a prize.

In the past, we've set the deadline for receipt of entries at 9:30AM on the first trading day of the year. This year, however, due to the fact that this post is several days later than usual, we're going to accept your predictions until 9:30AM on Friday, January 4, 2013. I'm sure that the more savvy of our contestants will wait until the first two trading days of the year have passed, and, using historical data, will attempt to predict the direction of the market for the entire year.

I will kick off the process by offering up my prediction. I predict that the S&P 500 will close 2013 at 1525.00, up approximately 7% from this year's closing level of 1426.19.

Good luck to all of our contestants.

We Have A Winner

Despite lots of turmoil, including the ongoing economic weakness in the U.S., the Eurozone debt crisis and a hotly-contested U.S. presidential election, 2012 turned out to be a very good year for stocks.

The S&P 500 Index closed the year at 1426.19, representing a 13.4% gain for 2012. 

Let's review the official entries in the Fourth Annual IcebergCarwash Stock Market Contest:

MBB: 1350.00
Doobie: 1412.00
Singing in the Rain: 1576.58
KWBSLKM: 1375.00
rabbim: 1260.00
Anonymous: 1315.26
SLiM: 1156.93

The winner is...

Doobie, with a prediction that was within approximately 1.0% of the final result.

Congratulations.

There might be some sort of prize involved.

Any questions about said prize should be addressed to FBB, the Chief Prize Officer of IcebergCarwash.