Friday, April 8, 2016

This is unpolished, Just my feelings today...



There is nowhere that I go, and nothing that I do,

That I don’t wonder, who will make me rue

That I should have done the other thing, or stayed just where I was

Not that I am needed per se, but, well, because.

They need me here, they need me there, I take some but not all

I have not yet determined how to split myself, and be home and in the the mall.

Even when I am on the floor and playing with my baby

I just have to wonder, should I be folding laundry, maybe.

Out with my husband, should I be home for the kids’ bath and bed saga,

I left them with the older ones which adds to all the drama.

Do they resent pitching in, and helping me survive?

Because sometimes I need to get away just to feel alive,

That vibrant way I felt when I did not feel so torn,

Of course it only lasts a few minutes, which makes me feel forlorn.

Wherever I go,and whatever I do, I am fractured into pieces

The ones that want me to be everything to everyone, it causes lots of creases

They are on my skin in wrinkles, and in my heart the same

Even though it’s been awhile, I don’t think I’ve learned the game.

I don’t know how to go and do and be, and be fully present and aware

Which makes me wonder if wherever I go, am I really there?