Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Validated!!!

My three big girls left to camp this morning. Let the summer begin. With finals and the end of school, my kids have been around for the last month, which I actually enjoy and especially now, found very helpful (like right now, it's not that easy to type with one hand, and the other is occupied. A few hours ago there would have been many willing hands clamoring for the baby).

These past two weeks have been all about getting the kids ready for camp. It doesn't usually take two weeks, but I'm moving just a bit slower, so it was just one errand a day, or wait for MBB in the evening. (Though some things a girl just wants her Mamma to do).

Yesterday, I decided it was time to focus a little on the kids who would be staying home, and using the last few hours of babysitting available, I took three of the little ones to Walmart. The six year old was THRILLED to be getting stuff for herself for camp, and having some of the procurement attention focused on her and her two sisters.

In that vein I will say the for many years people have said to me, "why do we need to go off grounds on visiting day, don't these kids get enough?" To which I always replied, "I don't do it for the kids in camp, I do it for the kids who sit in the car for 5 hours, and then it's again, all about camp, and the kids who are there."

I haven't ever had this conversation in front of my kids. The other day, the eldest was going on and on about how she doesn't need visiting day, and they should abolish it, and why can't you go four weeks without seeing your family (the kid who her first year in camp called me from some one's cell phone, right after we left on visiting day, and cried "come baaaaaack!")? The nine year old, who does not yet go to sleep away camp, waited until she stopped ranting and said:

"I love visiting day, it's so much fun!"

yay!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

They Learn Really Fast How to Push My Buttons!!

Those who know me, or have come in contact with me over the last three weeks are well aware of my caution around my newborn. There are stories behind that fear, the one I will impart has two parts.

When one of my sisters-in-law had a baby, my other sister-in-law wanted to go visit her, with her little kids. I said, "before you go let me tell you a story. When your husband, my brother, was born my mother had a nurse (an old German woman...actually, at some point she probably wasn't old, but I remember her as old. We called her Nursie. She was very tough, and whenever my mother had a baby, the youngest child in the house was toilet trained within three minutes of this woman coming over. But as my mother always says, she knew babies). As a person who knew babies, she did not allow my aunt, who was then 11 years old, to come in and see my brother before his bris. My mother thought it was a little over the top, but she trusted Nursie, and my aunt did not come in. A few days later, my aunt came down with chicken pox."

My sister-in-law thanked me for telling her the story, and said she would decide what to do. A few hours later she called me back to let me know that when her son came home from school, she was still planning to go see our new niece with the kids in tow, when the young lad mentioned he didn't feel well and his throat hurt. A quick trip to the doctor revealed he did indeed have strep throat.

That's TWO connected stories of illness and newborn. TWO!!! That's not even counting the story of my brother in law who got very sick as a newborn and took a while to be diagnosed with strep. On his brain. They think it may have come through his soft spot. (At least this is the story told in the family)

So I get a little crazy when people touch or handle newborns, or when I go to a shalom zachor where the child is paraded through the throngs of well wishers. And people bring their kids to "see the baby."

A lot of people know this about me, and they know it even more now, since I've been at one party after another since this kid was born, and I've had to keep him sequestered. I expected many comments from many people (and got them and shrugged them off), but I didn't expect what happened today.

The three year old (formerly known as the cheese- eater) wanted to do something today, and I had to tell her no. She was not happy with me, and thought for a moment and hurled the following threat at me:

"When we get home, I will touch the baby, and I won't wash my hands!!!"

Are My Kids Weird??

My kids are pretty good storytellers, and actually their fiction skills are great, and they do really well on all writing assignments.

So I am perplexed. From oldest to to the smallest (of those who go places)when they return home from a party, or play date or anything of that nature, and I ask "How was it? What did you do?" I am always answered the same way. Always. I guess it makes sense, just to me it seems obvious to the point of being unnecessary in the retelling.

They always begin with: "well, first we came...." That part I know about!! I'm almost always the one who brought them. This seems so odd to me, and when I point it out they argue, that that IS what happened.

Hmmph.

I guess as an adult the coming part isn't that exciting and neither is the milling around if nothing is really happening which COULD be what "first we came" means. I think not.

I think it means: First we came.

Le Sigh

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Because You Abused It

A local village settled with a non-profit organization after years of protracted litigation, against a "shabbos house." This house provides housing and meals for observant Jews whose families are in the hospital. It is open only for the Jewish Sabbath and Holidays, on days when observant Jews do not drive, but still need to be close to loved ones in the hospital.

The village sued the non-profit because the house, whose services used to be provided on an empty floor in the hospital, was located in a single family housing zoning area, and the citizens of the area apparently felt it too closely resembled a hotel and NIMBY, and they didn't want "transients" in their neighborhoods. All seemingly understandable on its surface.

Then the non profit sued under RLUIPA, and that's where things, to my mind become clearer.

RLUIPA: The Religious Land Use and Institutionalized Persons Act, that essentially says that government cannot make zoning restrictions that impede religion (or impede an incarcerated persons ability to practice his religion).

This law has excellent uses, as the case above illustrates, and the non-profit has come to a settlement with the village. But why would the village have denied the variance, and why would the comments about this issue be so vitriolic?

Because around these parts, in villages and unincorporated areas of the town, RLUIPA has been used as a battering ram to push through all and any types of building no matter how detrimental to the town or way of life, or sewage or traffic, or safety. If you want to build here, and you are of religious persuasion, you find a way to make it about religion, and then all planning and zoning boards back off.

BUT, you've left a bitter taste in the mouths of other residents and members of various boards so that projects that actually DO impact religious observances are lumped together with those of dubious necessity. Fortunately, those whose loved ones were in the hospital HAD the backing of the federal government who sued he village for civil rights violations. Because had the village succeeded all the housing and fake yeshivos with housing attached, and all those who subvert the law and wrap it up in religion would have been to blame.

So next time you're at a town meeting and someone stands up and proclaims that they are unable to practice their religion unless they have whatever they've come up with to line their pockets, don't be so quick to believe it. And certainly don't let the fact that they wrapped it in religion make you think it must be kosher. When it's kosher YOU will know, and then you should defend it to the hilt.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Part of the Club

About a week ago MBB and I joined a club. It's not terribly exclusive, but until now membership had alluded us. We know so many people who belong, and heard stories of different events and trial and tribulations associated with joining, and then it happened. Last Tuesday morning.

We had a son.

When you have a girl baby, you just have a baby, go home, and move on with things. Apparently, having a boy is different, it's a whole new world for us, and it's colored in blue. Literally. Everything is blue. Honestly, there's got to be another color that males can wear, or toys they can play with, or accessorize in.

Blue, as lovely as it is, and as many hues as it comes in, is, well, blue. Not to say that he isn't adorable in blue, but I'd like to see what other colors are out there. More than anything I think MBB is thrilled that we can give away most of the boxes that are in the attic, and he's trying to figure out if they make seer sucker outfits for very very very very small men.

So as we cherish all our kids, we are gearing up for life as a mixed gendered family, which, we can imagine is probably quite different.

You think he'll like Barbies?