Lights, Camera...

At last, FBB has relinquished her vise-like grip on our family computer, so that I may offer up some modest-yet-tasty morsels to the deserving denizens of this particular neighborhood in Blogadishu.

My house is serenely quiet right now, as FBB and all but the two youngest of our flock have gone out for the evening to watch our two oldest daughters perform in their school play.

The two little ones are sleeping, or as I refer to it, building up their energy before proceeding to the next phase in their world domination.

Tonight's performance is actually the second of two showings of this play, which debuted last night. The early reviews of our daughters' performances was quite positive, which always makes me proud.

Certainly, those who know FBB will assume that my offspring inherited their acting skill from their mother. However, I am aware (and now you are too) that their acting skill actually comes from me.

My acting career is long and varied. I received my first break when I was cast as the lead in my 1st Grade play. I cannot recall any of my lines now, so many years hence. (Actually, I don't think I remembered many of my lines during the play, either).
Despite being a neophyte at the time, my work was well reviewed. One particularly effusive reviewer exclaimed that I "...filled the stage" with my presence. (I think that the exact words were "That kid is so fat that he filled the entire stage. I couldn't even see my poor grandson.")

The only other thing I can recall about that play was that I was cast as some sort of train conductor, and was forced to wear a silly hat. As you can see, I have suffered for my craft. Ever since that time, I have been determined that anyone who approached me with a script would need to allow me to use my own, personal costume designer. I simply won't negotiate that point.

In the intervening years, the only roles I've received have been in television, where I was asked to play myself. Interestingly, while I've reprised that role dozens of times, in various settings, I've never been approached to play a character other than myself. Clearly, this can only mean that the decision makers in the entertainment industry are well aware of the fact that even they are incapable of creating a character who would be more interesting and engaging than the real MBB. Much like the late Bob Denver, I have been typecast. Or, perhaps the costume designer thing is a deal-breaker.

Oh well.

Fortunately, I am more than content to be heretofore known as the father of great actresses.