It's Hard to Know

There are a number of people who stand outside the local grocery stores collecting money for themselves.

They don't come everyday, but each seems to have his "day," and his spot. They are mostly men, and mostly old looking. They could be very young actually, but they look so weathered and beaten. I often wonder the circumstances that got them to this point, and I always notice my own reaction to each one, based on nothing but a twelve second or so interaction.

Some I give and some I don't give, and it's all very visceral. The aggressive guys, who come up to my car, I have a harder time giving to. The guy who chased me through the parking lot shouting I should write him check I don't give to. It was years ago, and I still just react negatively to him.

Then there's the guy who stands quietly at the door, says nothing, but if you give him something he will shower you with Brachos. I don't know what he does if you don't give him, I don't know what any of them do, or say, under their breath in that situation. I wouldn't want anyone wishing ill on me. Today I gave him something as I went in. When I came out I put the bags and the baby in the car, and he walked up behind me, and took my cart back to the sidewalk. I thanked him, and thought "that was nice, he seems like a nice guy." Really though I don't know.

He spends at least one day a week begging, and relying on the kindness of strangers. Was he a nice guy who never got a break? Did he have a full life in his country of origin, and the language and cultural barriers were too difficult for him here that he ended up doing this to sustain himself? Or did he have years of misspent opportunities, illegalities and now bad health that has brought him to this juncture? Does he have a family? Is he an ogre to them, mean and hateful, perhaps violent, so that they want nothing to do with him, and his personal interactions have been reduced to a few fleeting moments with passing shoppers? Is he quiet and low key because he is embarrassed by his situation, or because he is a misanthrope who must rely on strangers even as he loathes them? If I knew him better would he be the type of guy to shake my hand while sticking the other one in my purse?

I have no way of knowing. The guy I choose not to give could be the guy who is more gregarious, generous with his family and his peers, perhaps even collecting not only for himself, thus more willing to be aggressive.

I don't even know if these guys keep Shabbos, though ostensibly that is what they are collecting for.

There are different schools of thought on this whole topic. Does giving these people perpetuate something that should be stopped? Do we pay the charlatans so if there is one honestly needy person, they will be helped? And what does charlatan mean? Does it mean these people are going home to houses with nothing missing, but they solicit funds because they get a thrill by getting over on people? Or have they chosen this as a way to "make money?" If so, we could opt out. But people who are at the point in which they are reliant on others for their sustenance, have chosen a tough way to go. Granted, they have no schedule, no boss, no dress code, but no security, scorn and disdain as well. Does paying these people help elevate this way of life to something less scornful, thereby encouraging more of the same? If we take a way the shame, how can we know who is real? Do we use the "Vietnam" model- pay 'em all and let G-d sort it out?"

I have many questions, and no real answers. I am suspect of anyone who thinks this issue is black and white, from either viewpoint.