Trouble in Gotham?

The 2009 season has gotten off to a bit of a rocky start for the New York Yankees. Through the first two weeks of the season, the Yankees' record stands at a rather mediocre 7-6.

One of their starting pitchers, the Taiwanese right-hander Chien Mien Wang, has been awful, with an ERA of over 34.00. That's nearly four runs allowed per inning. The last pitcher I saw with an ERA that high was an 11-year old, who hurled his glove at his father, yelled "I hate baseball, and I hate you," then ran off into the woods, crying.

(Blogger's note: Yes, that's a true story. And no, I was not that kid).

In addition, the Yankees opened their brand new, $1.5 billion baseball palace last week, only to discover that the place is a "bandbox," with home runs flying out of the park at a record pace. Through four games, 20 home runs have been hit. That's not baseball, that's beer-league softball.

But, that's not the worst part, as far as the Yankees are concerned. The most embarrassing issue is that many of the super-premium seats have gone unsold, leaving large clusters of empty seats in the rows closest to the field. Some of these seats carry a price tag of $2,500 per game, adding up to a whopping $200,000+ for a season ticket.

Perhaps when the stadium was first being built, back in the days of $100 million-a-year hedge fund managers and unlimited corporate expense accounts, ticket prices like those made some sense. Not anymore.

Now, after an offseason during which they spent money on free agents as though the recession was simply a rumor, the Yankees are finding out that the economic downturn will affect them, just like everyone else.

Apparently, the Yankees' front office has held several intense meetings over the past couple of days, in an effort to come up with an answer to their unsold seat problem. Perhaps they will lower the prices of those seats, and refund some money to those who have already bought some of the expensive seats. Or, as some have suggested, they could donate some of those seats to youth groups. It will be interesting to see the solution they eventually implement.

Of course, there is another option. As with many other crises that have cropped up in the past year and a half, the Yankees' issue calls for a government bailout. The Fed, the U.S. Treasury, or some other government entity should simply buy up all of the unsold seats.

Admittedly, this idea would undoubtedly lead to some uncomfortable situations, like when Andrew Cuomo declares, with great indignation, that "after hundreds of hours of tireless research, I have uncovered the fact that the Yankees are paying their players lots of money. For how long has this been going on, while the public suspected nothing?" However, I think that the long-run benefits will far outweigh the risks. For one thing, if scientists can harness the jet stream that currently seems to be blowing out to right-center field to create energy, we could reduce our dependence on fossil fuels.

The time to act is now. It's time for the government to step up to the plate. (And for the Yankees to start winning with greater regularity).