It's Only Fair to Share

You know who you are.

We also know who you are.

Soon, the entire nation will know who you are.

You are the evil, manipulative, oppressor of the masses, he/she who dares to earn more than $250,000 per annum.

For too long, you have exploited your innocent brethren, taking advantage of rules that were slanted heavily in your favor.

You reveled in your privileged upbringing, as you trod upon those less fortunate.

You stopped at nothing in your pursuit of money, and did not exhibit the appropriate level of concern for our Planet.

You caused the Global Recession.

You destroyed the housing market.

You brought the international banking system to the brink of ruin.

In your company, the Greeks were compelled to act frivolously. As were the Italians. And the Irish. And the Spanish. (Perhaps even the French. Check back with us in a couple of months).

You convinced your colleagues to buy things they could not afford, and to accept upon themselves the burden of more debt than they could handle.

You threw millions of your peers out of work.

Worst of all, until this point, you have brazenly refused to pay your fair share.

Laugh not, wealthy wanton sinner.

Your day of reckoning has arrived.

As a non-threatening, non-denominational deity or otherwise impartial being possessing above-average levels of spirituality is our witness, your fair share will, in fact, be paid.

We will seek you out, and bring you to justice.

Do not attempt to resist us, for we cannot be resisted.

Our mandate is clear and our cause is righteous, as it has been established by the Great Post-racial and Post-economic One. The wisest and most eloquent of all men. He Who Has Invented Hope.

You shall be branded as pariahs, and heaped with scorn.

You shall be branded as "millionaires and billionaires," even if your income is a fraction of those lofty levels.

You will be branded as "system riggers" and "playing field de-levelers."

You shall be made to pay your fair share.

Unworthy beings, do not waste your time attempting to repent for your unforgivable sin.

There will be no repentance. Only justice. Only the payment of the Fair Share.

For it is only when the Fair Share is paid, that we can truly bask in the benevolent light of Hope, and taste the sweet nectar of equality.

You know who you are.

And soon, you will pay your fair share.


Blogger's Note: If you currently earn more than $250,000 per year, but belong to the management of a labor union, or are numbered among the ranks of left-leaning academia or media, please disregard the above message. IcebergCarwash sincerely apologizes for any distress the above message might have caused you or any of your non-human companions.