I went to two "back to school nights" so far this week (the third is on
Thursday). For those uninformed, "back to school night" is the night you
come to your kids classroom, squeeze into their teensy little desk, and
meet the teacher as s/he gives a short presentation of the
expectations and curriculum for the year.
School is a wonderous place. A wellspring of growth and learning, if you open your mind you will most assuredly learn new things.
I have learned a lot in the past two nights.
I have learned that some kids (3rd grade)take cookies for lunch. Some kids never clean out their knapsacks, and some kids never have supplies, go to sleep on time,or bathe regularly.
But mostly I have learned that teachers have been trained to keep the parents as uninvolved as possible. "DON'T WORRY! We do all research in school, you don't have to go to the library! If you can't sign the homework (all of ten seconds) don't worry, just sign it the next night, or let an older child do it! FEAR NOT! We won't give any assignments or work or responsibilties that will have you busy with YOUR children! We know that they and their schooling are nothing but a burden, and we will do our utmost to keep you out of it!" (I'm paraphrasing, but barely)
The most ridiculous element of this is there are those parents to whom this hands off policy is a wonderful development! (It seems so odd contrasted with the parents who need to hear "please do not do your daughters report/project/poster/cover/diorama for her." likely the same parents who are still doing homework with their sixth graders. I know everyone is on a different level, but at that point in the schooling career, you just ask if they did, or check that it's done. I don't think it's appropriate to helicopter at that age, and SIT and do homework/reports with them.)
Do the parents who show up need to hear that "we won't ask you for much!"? There were two women who left a wedding to come, and two women who were running a tzedaka party who came anyway. These seem like fairly involved parents, as are most of the parents who show up. Unfortunately, I think many of these policies are a direct result of years of complaints from parents who felt they and/or their children were overburdened by what is essentially the training round for life. My policy is always to challenge children in a controlled environment because life can be challenging, so why not give them the skills and ability to cope in a fairly innocuous and safe environment.
I just rankle at this idea that they proudly tell us how little we need to do for our children.
6 comments:
that's funny compared to my school where back to school night was continuous mantra of "we want to be invlolved and we want communication with you about your children" my 6th grader is still expected to do homework with someone (so he can be corrected if translating wrong) and both Rebbi's and some english teachers gave out their cell phone numbers! They don't give alot of homework in english though saying it is a very long day for the kids to start with. So they are pretty hands on here.
You have developed a policy on challenging kids???? Homework should not be for parents nor should parents be required to b involved in homework any further than to encourage its completion and to be on hand to answer tough questions. It is is no way apathetic for parents not to want homework to require their active participation.
I do believe that it is apathetic for parents of children in the lower grades (up until fourth)to not want to do homework with their kids. By homework with the kids I mean active participation in listening to reading, looking over the math sheet and SIGNING the homework pad
The research angle is simply to avoid internet use at home or (gasp) condoning library visits (see your previous post about religion).
I agree that the lack of involvement is due to parents complaining.
FBB you are descibing supervision, not active participation. Active participation is where the child believes that he/she cannot embark on homework without the parents' presence and assistance.This is wrong, homework should not REQUIRE parents to be teachers or monitors, the situation that Doobie describes is wrong, it assigns homework to the parent. If the rebbi believes that the purpose of homework is to reinforce translation etc correctly he should devise a system or HW methodology that enables the chld to do it on his/her own with the parents perhaps reviewing the final work and making suggestions or recomendations.
this is good controversy.
I sway toward those who feel that parents should not be involved in the actual homework. Thereby, the child learns to study and learn new things on his own.
In Doobie's case, the homework is clearly assigned as a continuation of school study and therefore the parent or older sibling becomes the teacher. It isn't, strictly speaking, the classical idea of homework where the child adapts what he has learned in school to a home project.
If you feel that a child should use his time at home to have a further schoolroom type learning experience, then a partner is required.
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