I'm back.
While many of IcebergCarwash's loyal followers have probably been wondering about my whereabouts for the past couple of months or so, by now it's become quite obvious.
I was deep undercover, working hard to root out a band of extremely dangerous Russian spies.
As much as I wanted to post blogs on at least a semi-regular basis, I simply could not risk having this blog fall into Soviet hands.
[Blogger's Note: My editors have just informed me that the Soviet Union no longer exists, having been broken up in latter part of the last century. I will now pause to notify my colleagues at the CIA, NSA and other agencies too secretive to name].
As you are all now aware, for the past several years, several Russian spies, posing as regular Americans, infiltrated our society, and...actually, didn't really do anything, it seems. At best, they fed their superiors back in Russia a steady diet of sensitive information about the New York party scene.
As an American, I'm deeply offended.
Does Russia mean to tell us that they couldn't find more competent spies than this group of knuckleheads? Has the United States become so unimportant in the arena of international espionage that Russia can't send their best people here? Most of these people didn't even bother to hide their thick Eastern-European accents. Is that really the best they could do?!
Where did they send their competent spies, to England?
Of course, Russian President Dimitry Medvedev, and his puppet-master, Vladimir Putin, have said that they want the recently chilly relationship between Russia and the United States to thaw.
Showing us the proper respect, by sending over some real spies, would be a good start.
5 comments:
the name wasn't the giveaway, it was those distinctly broad slavic noses. and eyebrows.
or maybe the way they hold their cigarettes (Nelson DeMille fans understand)
MBB for CEO of the CIA!
There is no longer any need to hide a russian accent or slavic nose. This is multicultural America, where someone can walk around covered head to toe in opaque materials with only a small strip of plastic across the eyes ( I just saw someone dressed exactly like that in the supermarket) and everyone is afraid to comment.
To really get noticed here you have to look American and speak unaccented English.
I wouldn't mind being that kind of spy. Send me to a foreign country and let me blend in all expenses paid!!!
I agree with doobie. as long as I don't have to do any spying. unless they want me to spy on shoppers in malls. and restaurants. with an expense account, I'd do fine there.
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