Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Worst Mother in The World

Alright, maybe I've employed a little hyperbole, but that's what it feels like.

I decided, that despite the hardship involved in taking a two year old to the nursery,(how ironic is that?!?!)I would finally buy the annuals I've been wanting to plant. It didn't hurt that little miss-cheese-eater opted not to nap, which means after ten minutes I hear "Mommy! I wake UP! I Wake Up! No Shushy Nap!"

So I had to empty the back of the minivan so that I could put down the seats in the last row for all the flats I'd be buying. There's a booster seat on that last row, so after I emptied the carriage, and the coke cans and water bottles from Costco, I was ready to put the seat down. I didn't notice that little miss you-know-who had moved to the middle row, and was standing right where I tossed the booster seat.

Obviously, she started to cry. Being the sensitive mother that I am I asked:

"What HAAAAPENED?"

She must think I'm nuts, because really how can I not know what happened? I was right there, and I threw the booster seat!

She stopped crying, and I went to put her in her car seat, and when I picked her up I saw she had a gash in her eyebrow. Yikes.

I had no idea. It took about a minute and a half from when I threw it until I noticed, but man did I feel BAD for not noticing right away, oh, yeah...AND FOR HITTING HER IN THE HEAD WITH A PLASTIC BOOSTER SEAT!

So we wiped off the blood, applied ice and taped on some gauze, and wasted $20 on a co-pay to the pediatrician who told me what I knew. She needed a plastic surgeon to do the stitches (a girl, the face, blah, blah). This plastic surgeon does emergency stitches at the ER, I think it's an insurance thing, and for me it saved $30 bucks, since ER visits have no co-pay!

This is the suburbs, so the ER's not that crowded at 4 in the afternoon. And we were waiting for a particular doctor, not an ER doctor, so by the time we went into triage he was there, and they registered me in the same room where she was getting stitches. When the woman walked in to do the registration, the doctor said
"Oh good, you'll distract Mom." I was happy for the distraction.

The last time one of my kids was strapped in the stitches papoose getting her lip sewn up, I stayed in her line of sight and fainted after about two minutes. But that was 11 years ago.

Other than the five minutes when she was actually getting stitches she was in the most fantastic mood, the entire day. At the pediatrician, in the waiting room, and right after the stitches too.

She really seems no worse for wear.

I wish I could say the same for her Mother.

2 comments:

Doobie said...

The first time one of my kids had stitches I cried. When we went to have them removed he asked me if I was going to cry again! I am sure she will be back to her cheese eating self tomorrow (though it sounds like she was already today) And for the same throw you could have just bashed her head and not needed stitches :)
Refuah Shelaima to all

SLiM said...

FBB,don't feel so bad. You're not the worst mother in the world. A crow abandons its babies as soon as they're born. NO ONE, NOT EVEN MOTHERS IN ZIMBABWE, are that bad.(Hooray, Zimbabwe is NOT the cruelest in every way. Take that, Mr."let-me-be-a-Hitler-tenfold" Robert Mugabe![when Mugabe was told by BBC that his crimes were comparable to Hitler's,he responded"let me be a Hitler tenfold". TRUE STORY.])