Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy

I am well aware of the fact that I have not added a post to this blog in a while. I am also aware that I cannot simply show up at IcebergCarwash, and begin posting again, as though nothing has occurred. I must explain my absence.

Granted, I could just borrow a page from the President's playbook, and say something like, "With my gaze set firmly on the future, now is not the time to look back." However, the President himself has taught us how to make a statement like the one above, while subtly (or not so subtly) ascribing blame, in the very same sentence.

As such, I feel obligated to explain the causes of my absence from this blog. Of course, I cannot bring myself to be so arrogant as to propose that I know all of the reasons for my absence. Much like our economy, such a complex thing cannot be easily explained.

I will therefore leave it to you, dear reader(s), to determine the actual cause of my recent bout with acute blog lethargy (ABL). To make the process easier, I will give you a list of common scapegoats, from which you can chose. Most likely, it is due to a combination of factors, and not just one, but I'll let you decide.

My recent absence from IcebergCarwash is due to:

* Greedy Wall Street bankers
* The mistakes of the previous administration
* Short sellers
* Those who would put their own interests above those of the nation
* Hate mongers
* Rumor mongers
* Fish mongers
* Alex Rodriguez
* The errors of the previous administration
* A handful of holdout hedge fund managers who had the audacity to be more interested in getting more than 29 cents on the dollar for their supposedly senior secured debt than in giving a majority stake in the nation's third-largest automobile manufacturer to the union that had a lot to do with getting it into trouble in the first place.
* Global warming
* Dick Cheney
* The missteps of the previous administration
* Greedy corporate executives
* Those who would destroy the planet with their reckless disregard for the environment
* The blind eye that the previous administration turned to the warning signs that were so obvious to all of us, that nobody actually bothered to, you know, actually speak up at the time.
* Greedy mortgage bankers
* AIG (and if you guys don't stop causing trouble, we'll throw another $50 billion at you. We really will. Don't test us).


Hopefully, my absences from this blog will be shorter in the future.

Unless those hedge fund-types get to me.

2 comments:

Doobie said...

good to have you back MBB

rabbim said...

I am surprised that severe back spasms didn't make your list of possible excuses.