The Comfort Zone

It's amazing how you can do things you've always done, but change one small element and the whole experience is different.

Today, after a nice walk around a lake, playground time, and races on a football field, we decide to all venture to Costco. That's right. At 3 o'clock in the afternoon on a Sunday. (The kids were really thirsty, we needed a few things and the soda there is 20 ounces for $.64 tax included, and free refills!!!). First of all, the clientele is obviously very different from a weekday morning. I'm not used to Costco being filled with so many men under the age of 75 wearing shorts and t-shirts. Also, there were so many stations set up offering services. Normally, there are a lot of freebie foods being given out, but this was free massages, and free temporary tattoos, and Fidelis sign up, and something else that was just too crowded for me to see what was being hawked. Being with MBB changed the equation too, but that was good thing. It's fun to see things you always see through someone else's new vantage point. He's been there before, and every time he comes his hatred of Costco diminishes a little more. He blames he current housing crisis on Costco. If not for Big Warehouse stores, we wouldn't need large houses with oversized mortgages to store our groceries.

The thing that was most different today was how crowded it was. Ergo,the lines. They were VERY long, but I got behind someone who didn't have a cart but a rolling open platform. Those are the best in Costco, because those generally do not get unpacked, and the cashier just scans everything with the wand, the patron pays, and we all move on. Well, it was a great plan until the manager decided to count up the money just before big palette guy's turn. If not for that, we would have been out of there in a flash. Everyone else avoided that line, so we really would have sailed trough. Rookies. It worked out because that's when the kids went to use the bathroom, and then refill their sodas. Hey, $.64 for 40 ounces of soda is amazing.

This got me thinking about how we do things daily that become such a part of our routine, that we don't even notice how much we enjoyed their familiarity until something disrupts it.

A few weeks ago, I found myself in a grocery store that I generally do not frequent, even though it's right here in my town, and I know people who really like it. I now know that I am not one of those people. I felt like a stranger, an interloper even. I did not belong. When I walked into the store there must have been 15 baby carriages parked outside, which really should have been my first clue that this experience was going to be a bit different than the usual trip for chicken, milk and tomatoes. Well, in I went. I probably should have turned right around. There was nowhere to move. I could hardly get into the store, and I certainly had a hard time maneuvering the aisles. Of course I didn't know where anything was, and when I went to pay there was a cash register devoted to "orders." These are for people who call or fax in their shopping list, and someone in the store shops for them and delivers it to their home. A great service for those who don't drive, or have a lot of little kids at home and need the help getting the necessities into the house, but when you're shopping it's a big hindrance. Many of these "shoppers" are there all day, so they feel that they have the right of way, and leave their heavily laden carts smack in the middle of the aisle. They are also, there all day, so they really don't mind being there "all day." Not that I am in such a rush, but there's rushed, efficient, leisurely, and "I'm getting paid by the hour, no matter how many orders I finish." The line up of carts at that register was 18 deep.

The line I got on to pay was considerably shorter, but took almost as long as I would assume a line serving 18 people could presumably take. There were only two people in front of me and I waited online for 20! minutes. Then the cashier was surly. Maybe she didn't know what to do with someone who had fewer than ten items, quite obviously a rarity on that day. I could see where she could be a very pretty woman, if she would just smile once or twice, and maybe talk in something other than grunts.

So my inability to find chimichurri sent me to this grocery because I was right nearby, was going to make my own, and my regular grocery was out of fresh parsley and oregano.

Since it seems that extensive traveling is not in the cards right now, I will have to continue to broaden my apparently very narrow horizons by shopping in stores I don't usually patronize.

New Loewe's, here I come!

Oh.

So today, Memorial Day, the day to remember our fallen soldiers, MBB and I did what any true red-blooded American would do. We went shopping.

Or attempted to. As has become traditional in Chez BB (darn those French! Though I like Sarkozy a lot), we used the opportunity of the legal holiday, kids in school in the morning, and MBB off from work, to look for some home furnishings.

So after a fairly leisurely morning, we drove leisurely down to a furniture store nearby only to note a sign on the door indicating that in observance of Memorial Day they would open at 1 pm. It was 11 am. We figured this store felt a stronger sense of what Memorial Day is, and thought, "good for them!" Undeterred we continued on to another furniture store right nearby, which was also opening at 1 pm. Hmmm. Somewhat deterred I decided this would be a good time to introduce MBB to the wonder that is Home Goods.

I didn't look this up, but if I recall correctly, Home Goods started off as a small section inside TJ MAXX stores, until it was popular enough to spin off into its own entity. I may have just totally made that up, but it sounds good.

So as we looked around for a small table and accent piece for the foyer (not what we would have looked for at the furniture stores), Little-Miss-Cheese-Eater, who does not attend school, ate an apple, threw her apple after eating 3/4 of it, ate her bagel, threw her bagel (in the bag), requested the bagel back, and eventually threw it again (we had no cheese!).

We found a nice half moon table fairly quickly, and spent the rest of the time looking for nice piece to go on it. Just as we found what we were looking for the following announcement was made on the P.A. System:

"Attention Home Goods Shoppers. You must leave the store. This store is not supposed to be open until 1 pm."

As much as it ruined the mystique of the disembodied voice, we were just ten feet from the voice, very much embodied in the middle aged manager. I asked him if this was a Town Ordinance, and he said yes, a cop had just come by and told him he had to close. I asked if we could make our purchases and he said we should come back later to do so.

As I turned to talk to MBB, the line got longer, and suddenly the same manager called two more cashiers to the front. "So we are checking out?" I asked, quite excitedly. The cashier answered that they would help those online, but weren't letting anyone new into the store.

Lucky break for us. The pieces look great in the foyer.

This store is amazing.

Do I Have To?

I exercised today.

This is a very big deal for me, as I hate exercise. The crazy thing is, when I think about it, and all its benefits, I am so sure it's something that I really, really, really want to do. And then I do it.

This was even social, no babysitting involved. I walked with two friends (and their babies in carriages)around the hilly, windy streets of suburbia. Unfortunately for me, these two walk almost everyday, and as I said, I hate exercise and rarely do it, so there was a lot of running to catch up. Why I thought the day that it was 82 degrees would be the best day to start this, is beyond me.

The craziest part is in my mind I am not only in great shape, but a world class athlete to boot. Unfortunately for me, reality does not bear this out. I keep thinking that I could easily do exercise, the benefits will be great, and it won't be so bad. Apparently, my brain and body are not in agreement once the exercise begins.

Brain: I think we should exercise today, it'll be good for you, Body, and release all kinds of great chemicals for me.

Body: Super Idea as usual brain! How do you keep coming up with all these great plans?

Brain: You know me, I'm just wired that way. So let's get started!

Body: OK, lemme get my sneakers.

A few minutes pass, sneakers on, exercise commences:

Body: Hmmm, it's hot. I'm sweating. My feet hurt. My mouth is parched. Now I have cramp. Up a hill? Who could I call to come pick me up? Whose dumb idea was this?????


I know, I know. No pain, no gain. I'm waiting til I can go swimming. Not that I enjoy doing laps, but it's exercise that just doesn't feel as painful and strenuous. I'm sure the benefits are commensurate with that, unless I do water aerobics or something. There's nothing social about swimming laps.

I prefer to burn calories chewing.

Finally!!

I know it's only May 14, but I have never planted flowers this late. Granted, the frost free date is May 15, but I'm quite sure that the temperature did not dip below 33 degrees over the last two weeks. So even though there's that built in excuse I feel like I lost two weeks of flowers. What? That's right. Every day that the flowers are in is one more day for them to grow and really get to that point where they don't look straggly and pathetic. They start to look decent at two weeks and really good after four.

I'd have to say after Tuesday's fiasco (see post below) this flower buying trip was fairly uneventful. I brought Little Miss-Stitches-In-Her-Eyebrow to a drop off babysitter, and went to buy my flowers knowing she was having a good time. She goes to this babysitter once a week, for a little over an hour, while I attend a class right nearby. I know she likes the place because practically ANYTIME I say "let's go," she asks excitedly if we are going to this babysitter. (She just says the babysitter's name in a question form with a huge smile, when I say no, she asks, "later?").

So I was able to properly focus on the plants, and determine what will go where before I went to pick her up. They're doing roadwork on one of the main roads here, so one lane is closed at various points with a flag man directing traffic. So I went out of my way to avoid the closure and still be able to drop off the flowers before I picked up Little Miss-Target-Head. So as I came up the street that would take me the circuitous route to my house, guess what was blocking the intersection? YUP! the construction trucks I went out of my way to avoid. Luckily no one was behind me and I turned around and went back the regular way, unloaded the car and got Little Miss-Cheese-Eater.

She took a nap, I put on planting/cooking clothes, a raincoat and rain hat and got to work. In about 1.5 hours I had 98% planted, and when the other kids got home I took a couple to the nursery with me to get some more stuff.

It's all in now, it looks like some good rain's in store. I'm really happy it's done.

But man am I sore.

The Worst Mother in The World

Alright, maybe I've employed a little hyperbole, but that's what it feels like.

I decided, that despite the hardship involved in taking a two year old to the nursery,(how ironic is that?!?!)I would finally buy the annuals I've been wanting to plant. It didn't hurt that little miss-cheese-eater opted not to nap, which means after ten minutes I hear "Mommy! I wake UP! I Wake Up! No Shushy Nap!"

So I had to empty the back of the minivan so that I could put down the seats in the last row for all the flats I'd be buying. There's a booster seat on that last row, so after I emptied the carriage, and the coke cans and water bottles from Costco, I was ready to put the seat down. I didn't notice that little miss you-know-who had moved to the middle row, and was standing right where I tossed the booster seat.

Obviously, she started to cry. Being the sensitive mother that I am I asked:

"What HAAAAPENED?"

She must think I'm nuts, because really how can I not know what happened? I was right there, and I threw the booster seat!

She stopped crying, and I went to put her in her car seat, and when I picked her up I saw she had a gash in her eyebrow. Yikes.

I had no idea. It took about a minute and a half from when I threw it until I noticed, but man did I feel BAD for not noticing right away, oh, yeah...AND FOR HITTING HER IN THE HEAD WITH A PLASTIC BOOSTER SEAT!

So we wiped off the blood, applied ice and taped on some gauze, and wasted $20 on a co-pay to the pediatrician who told me what I knew. She needed a plastic surgeon to do the stitches (a girl, the face, blah, blah). This plastic surgeon does emergency stitches at the ER, I think it's an insurance thing, and for me it saved $30 bucks, since ER visits have no co-pay!

This is the suburbs, so the ER's not that crowded at 4 in the afternoon. And we were waiting for a particular doctor, not an ER doctor, so by the time we went into triage he was there, and they registered me in the same room where she was getting stitches. When the woman walked in to do the registration, the doctor said
"Oh good, you'll distract Mom." I was happy for the distraction.

The last time one of my kids was strapped in the stitches papoose getting her lip sewn up, I stayed in her line of sight and fainted after about two minutes. But that was 11 years ago.

Other than the five minutes when she was actually getting stitches she was in the most fantastic mood, the entire day. At the pediatrician, in the waiting room, and right after the stitches too.

She really seems no worse for wear.

I wish I could say the same for her Mother.

Dumping Coca-Cola in Boston Harbor

According to an article in today's Wall Street Journal, Senate leaders are considering new federal taxes on soda, to help pay for an overhaul of the nation's health-care system.

A soda tax?!

I know that in the coming years, we'll see increased regulation and taxes in every area of our lives, but this would be the last straw for me (pun semi-intended).

The tax is being proposed by a group that calls itself "The Center for Science in the Public Interest." I, for one, believe that it would be in the Public Interest to have these people stand in the middle of busy intersections during rush hour.

Supposedly, the tax would only apply to sugary drinks, and not to diet soda, which accounts for 95%+ of my current soda consumption. However, once any soda tax is in place, it will only be a matter of time before they expand it to include diet beverages as well. Now I know how those NRA folks felt when assault rifles were banned. Our freedom is being taxed or taken away, bit by bit.

What's next? Will there be a three-day waiting period before I'll be allowed to purchase a Big Gulp? Will I have to get my soda in another country? I might have to resort to buying a six pack of Azteca Cola in Tijuana from a guy with a glass eye, named Pedro. Or, perhaps I'll find myself in a drab bar in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, sipping a glass of Mellow Mountie, while pretending to be interested in some flannel shirt-wearing lumberjack's tales of forest adventure.

Actually, the most likely scenario is a lot more extreme. If the government passes a soda tax, it is entirely likely that I would completely freak out. I'd form a group, named the Soda Separatists. We'd buy up some houses and land in Montana (hopefully at foreclosure prices), or some other such mostly-desolate place. We would spread rumors that we had gathered an enormous cache of weapons and sugary beverages. We would prepare for the inevitable federal assault by digging a deep, wide trench around our entire compound. We'd fill the trench with popcorn kernels, so that when the feds lost patience with us, and attempted to set fire to our compound, Waco-style ("Sure, we're risking loss of life, but those people have soda in there. Soda!"), they would accomplish nothing more than to provide our group with a year's supply of snacks...

...which we would wash down with all of our soda.

I imagine that we would punctuate our victory by burping triumphantly for all to hear.

Or, as I prefer to put it: letting freedom ring.

The Markey Bill

Although this is a"Family Blog" this post may be inappropriate for some readers. Discretion is advised.


There has been quite a bit of discussion these days about a bill in the NY Legislature, the Child Victims Act, better known as the Markey Bill, which has come under close scrutiny by religious groups. Both the Catholic Church and Orthodox and Hasidic Jewish groups oppose the bill.

This bill is certainly not perfect. It extends the statute of limitation on prosecution and civil action against those involved in child sexual abuse (and its psychological impact)to 10 years, up from the current five beginning at the age of 18. It does not however lift a statute that is in place in state law that gives a victim 90 days if the perpetrator works in a public school or government.

The bill also opens a one time, one year window in which the statute of limitations is waived completely, and any victims of abuse can sue the institutions where the crimes took place, regardless of how much time has passed. Also, it does not take into account whether the administration of the institution has changed.

This is where the opposition to the bill comes in. The Catholic Church has already paid close to a billion dollars in settlements and damages stemming from suits brought from laws like these in California and Delaware.

Some are also arguing against the bill because it seems to only target religious or private institutions, because the statute will not be changed for public school incidences.

These are specious arguments, at best.

For too long religious institutions have covered up crimes of abuse of students, parishioners, worshipers, campers, and attendees of youth programs. Shifting personnel to other venues just broadens the abuse cycle as the perpetrators create not only new offenders, but more people who have been damaged into adulthood.

I can see where this would make an institution worry. I understand why there is a fear of lawsuits from old, old cases where there is not even enough information or access to people to help defend the institution. I even understand the fear of capricious suits with no merit. What I cannot abide is the idea that these will be the majority of the suits brought.

I believe that many of these religious institutions need just this sort of wake up call. For far too long they have swept allegations under the rug, discredited the accuser, and kept the accused in positions to inflict more harm. Yes, schools that are entirely funded by fund raising and tuition could be very hurt by this. Yes, parents who had no part of the school, and may in fact have been in diapers themselves when the crimes occurred, will have to shoulder the financial burden should these lawsuits be decided for the plaintiffs. The whole community will be expected to shoulder the burden, and that's exactly what I like about this law.

Unfortunately, too often people are apathetic about issues that do not effect them directly. If it wasn't their kid/neighbor/family member/school, they cluck their tongues and continue on their way. There needs to be PUBLIC OUTRAGE at this scourge that we have allowed to fester in too many of our institutions. Looking the other way, hushing the victims, and generally sweeping the issue under the rug so as not to let it see the light of day does nothing but intensify the pain of victims, and perpetuate the cycle. For too long the community has looked the other way, and has, it seems tacitly been a party to all this.

It is these suits that will bring the entire community into this issue. It is these allegations that will force people to wake up and see what this terrible, terrible crime causes. What better way to counter act a crime that sustains itself in secrecy then shining a huge light on it.

We as a community are culpable for allowing our institutions to get away with this for so long. If this is the price we all have to pay, and it may be great indeed, then that may be exactly what we deserve.

A Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy

I am well aware of the fact that I have not added a post to this blog in a while. I am also aware that I cannot simply show up at IcebergCarwash, and begin posting again, as though nothing has occurred. I must explain my absence.

Granted, I could just borrow a page from the President's playbook, and say something like, "With my gaze set firmly on the future, now is not the time to look back." However, the President himself has taught us how to make a statement like the one above, while subtly (or not so subtly) ascribing blame, in the very same sentence.

As such, I feel obligated to explain the causes of my absence from this blog. Of course, I cannot bring myself to be so arrogant as to propose that I know all of the reasons for my absence. Much like our economy, such a complex thing cannot be easily explained.

I will therefore leave it to you, dear reader(s), to determine the actual cause of my recent bout with acute blog lethargy (ABL). To make the process easier, I will give you a list of common scapegoats, from which you can chose. Most likely, it is due to a combination of factors, and not just one, but I'll let you decide.

My recent absence from IcebergCarwash is due to:

* Greedy Wall Street bankers
* The mistakes of the previous administration
* Short sellers
* Those who would put their own interests above those of the nation
* Hate mongers
* Rumor mongers
* Fish mongers
* Alex Rodriguez
* The errors of the previous administration
* A handful of holdout hedge fund managers who had the audacity to be more interested in getting more than 29 cents on the dollar for their supposedly senior secured debt than in giving a majority stake in the nation's third-largest automobile manufacturer to the union that had a lot to do with getting it into trouble in the first place.
* Global warming
* Dick Cheney
* The missteps of the previous administration
* Greedy corporate executives
* Those who would destroy the planet with their reckless disregard for the environment
* The blind eye that the previous administration turned to the warning signs that were so obvious to all of us, that nobody actually bothered to, you know, actually speak up at the time.
* Greedy mortgage bankers
* AIG (and if you guys don't stop causing trouble, we'll throw another $50 billion at you. We really will. Don't test us).


Hopefully, my absences from this blog will be shorter in the future.

Unless those hedge fund-types get to me.

Bernie Plays Baseball

(With apologies to the great Bernie Williams)

I finally figured out what Major League Baseball reminds me of. It's just a big old Ponzi scheme.

Today, LA Dodger Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games for testing positive for a banned substance. Honestly, when the story first broke and they were reporting Manny violated "the drug policy," I thought immediately, Marijuana. Manny being Manny and all that. Then it was determined that he was suspended for a banned substance that he claims came from a prescription from a doctor. Now, Manny Ramirez is a great hitter, one considered to have natural talent, but he's 37 years old and his numbers are still THAT good.

Back to the Ponzi scheme. How does it work? Well, people put their money in, they know it's too good to be true, but as long as the cash is coming in they don't ask too many questions. They don't ask how they can get such a high yield year after year when no one else shows returns like that. If they own a hedge fund they don't ask what they are invested in that's making them so much money in fees. No, everybody just enjoys the ride.

This is baseball. This is baseball in the era of Sammy Sosa, Mark Mcgwire, and Barry Bonds, and hundreds of other players. Everyone just kept their mouth shut and went to the games, because really, who doesn't like to watch it sail out of the park? Ever been to a night game, when the white ball with faint red stitching arches up into the air, framed against the black night sky with thousands of watts of light beaming on it, and tens of thousands of voices carrying it as it makes its fateful journey over the wall? It's a beautiful, thrilling sight. Who cares if the guy who hit it did so under false pretenses? For a good ticket that cost an arm and a leg, and a beer that costs $8, people want to be entertained, do they care how?

They care now. Why? Because we've pulled back the curtain. Like a magician whose tricks have been revealed, it's not that much fun to watch. Baseball is a sport of history. Fans love to talk about history and make comparison, old players to new players. That's all a sham now. In this era of ESPN and every stat known to man, it all means nothing now. Players make millions for cheating, and every team is under a cloud. Nothing is real.

It wasn't only the players union and baseball commissioner who looked away for so long, it was the networks who payed millions to air the games, and the fans who continued to show up. Money talks, and in this case no one used the power of the purse to force anything from Major League Baseball. Not the straight players (if there are any), not the owners and not the media or the public.

So the national past time has been sullied. That's OK, only a few more months until football season.

CPP Be Darned! (it's a family friendly blog, you know)

Today I was reading a couple of new stories on a few different websites, some of which I may not consider arbiters of true journalism, but they dispense the information culled from other sources. Generally, I don't frequent these sites, but a Google search sent me to one of them, and I got caught up there.

In the comment section.

Now, I know many of you are shaking your heads knowingly, but this was uncharted territory for me. And it was scary. I did not know that A) there were that many intensely stupid people in the world B)They have computers and know nominally how to type/spell C)They congregate together on these sites egging each other on.

One site I was on was for a local newspaper, and the comment section there is extremely important. I really believe it gives a good insight into what our neighbors are thinking, and let me just say, it doesn't bode well.

I think the anonymity of the internet lends itself to people being both brash, outre, and just generally over the top in their comments, when it is not something they would necessarily have the courage to say in a face to face conversation with hundreds or thousands of strangers.

The most striking thing to me, is how quickly religion devolves into fighting between divergent beliefs, and also within its own ranks. An excellent and very entertaining blog I read was recently subject to this on one post. There was a fairly innocuous post, wherein a reader raised a concern in the comment section. Another commenter took this as an opportunity to go on a diatribe against a few segments, of what seem to be his own religious group, while hypocritically in the same breath defending someone else. (truly, it made no sense)

Kind of like when a kid is walking down the hallway minding his own business, and someone punches him in the arm for no reason, and then the puncher yells at the another bully for tripping a kid.

I guess I just don't understand, especially when writing, where there's time before you hit submit, or type your name or anonymous, or log in, to actually take a step back. That's the beauty of the written word, there's time to edit. Of course that feeling of furiously typing and pounding at the keyboard in an "I'll tell them!" kind of way can feel rather cathartic, but once done, once the words are on the page, maybe, just maybe it needs to be reread a few times. I'm not talking about not writing well, and I'm not talking about late night posting, where sometimes the grammar is wrong. I'm talking about arguments which make no sense, or exist in what I like to call "an alternate universe" (a whole different post, for sure).


Do not engage the stupid, it just encourages them.

I Can't Believe It's May Already

You know how some say that when you have nothing to talk about you end up talking about the weather? It's not that I have nothing to say, but what I want to say has a lot to do with the weather.

I could technically buy and plant annuals tomorrow. I usually wait for the first few days of May, and they are indeed upon us. Plus, the earlier you get the flowers in, the prettier they are early in the season.

The problem is it doesn't FEEL like I should be planting flowers yet. There've been so many cool days, that I am not feeling that sustained feeling of Spring. Though the allergy sufferers in my house are certainly feeling the sustained feelings of spring! Normally at this time of year I'm itching to get the flowers in, and feeling like my house is waiting for that spruce up. Not so this time. We had a couple of very unseasonably hot days, but otherwise it just hasn't felt like spring. I didn't look up any statistics, so I don't know if this Spring is really cooler than years passed, but it feels that way to me. And I'm a bit bummed about it.

Stupid Global Warming!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?






Pilgrims!!!