I Dub Thee "Sir Tax"

When FBB and I founded IcebergCarwash, our goal was to entertain and inform our readers, while creating a forum for our opinions on a wide variety of topics.


All right, let's do away with all of the mission statement gobbledygook, shall we?


IcebergCarwash is about one thing, and one thing only:

Profits.

The trouble is that after nearly ten months, we haven't generated one red cent from this blog.

We obviously need to make this blog profitable, but how?

We could move to a paid subscription model, but how would we be able to compete with the millions of free blogs out there?

We could sell advertising space on the blog, but that could eventually detract from the spirit of IcebergCarwash, thereby making our brand less valuable over the long run.

As a guy I used to work with often said, "We're in a real pickle here."

Fortunately, just when I was out of ideas, our heroes in Congress have come to the rescue, with their unique brand of ingenuity.

We've got two different solutions for generating revenues, while remaining a "free" blog:

(1) A blog surtax. We would never dream of charging a tax to users of the blog. It's out of the question. Adding a surcharge? That would be positively un-American. Instead, we'll add a "surtax." What's a surtax, you ask? It's a rather magical thing, actually. It's not a surcharge, or a fee, or a tax. It's entirely different. It's a surtax. Why, it even sounds cool. You people should feel proud to be bestowed with the privilege of paying such a marvelous thing.

(2) A Cap-and-Trade mechanism. This one is really neat. Just mentioning it makes me feel economically sophisticated. Everyone will be given a limited number of free visits to the site per month (a "cap"). Any visits above that number will be assessed with a fee. Here's the neat part: If you don't use all of your allotted free visits, you can trade them with other users who have already hit their monthly limits.

I know that many of you might think that the "cap-and-trade" mechanism is simply a hidden tax. However, I've been assured by Representative Henry Waxman (idiot-California), that your fears are greatly exaggerated, or imaginary, or both.

Please rest assured that FBB and I have no plans to unilaterally add either a surtax or a cap-and-trade plan without seeking input from our readers. After all, like the President, we are post-partisan consensus-builders. (We build consensus the same way we'd build a house. With a hammer). Your input is critical.

Please use the comments section of this blog to tell us how you feel about our proposed ideas. In order for us to make a proper assessment of the impact of our plans, while identifying and weeding out the opinions of any of the evil rich, we just need you to include the following, basic information with your comments:

* First Name
* Middle Initial
* Last Name
* Address
* Home phone number
* Cell phone number
* Primary e-mail address
* Secondary e-mail address
* Social Security number
* Credit Card number
* Credit Card expiration date
* Your mother's maiden name


With your help, IcebergCarwash can meet its ambitious goals, while remaining free.