This is the suburbs. You can park WHEREVER you want.
Why? Why? Why? If you are coming to a house to collect money, basically knocking on doors of people who's schedules you are not privy to, why? why? why? would you block their cars in their driveways.
It's not only unnecessary, it's pretty rude, and silly, and maybe even a little selfish. Or a lot selfish. Especially when parking in the driveway means the tail of your car sticks out four feet into the road. So you blocked our cars (you only need one of us to write a check, no sense in blocking TWO cars) AND impeded traffic on the street.
And you weren't even the only one today!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Wow!
As much as I am feeling nostalgic about the eldest, the second is reaching milestones as well. In fact I don't know if I mellowed, or she is just naturally taking to driving better. But Second in Command (quite literally) got her permit right before Purim.
We have already driven almost one hour, and she constantly asks for more.
I guess I haven't yelled that much yet!
We have already driven almost one hour, and she constantly asks for more.
I guess I haven't yelled that much yet!
Milestones
My daughter got her license this year.
She got into the Seminary of her choice.
She regularly uses a purse.
She took the SATs.
She does errands on her own.
She held down the fort when MBB and I went away overnight.
She will get paid for working in camp this summer.
She enjoys a nice wine.
All milestones, all indicative of her getting older and more mature. But today, today is a milestone that is just making me tear up. Every time I think of it, I think of that moment after she was born, all swaddled in her blankets with a cute little hat, looking up at me. So serene, so peaceful, just looking at me with her big brown eyes, and then she blinked. Two big long blinks. She stole my heart.
Today seems to start a new chapter in her life, and by extension, ours as well.
Today she turns 18.
She got into the Seminary of her choice.
She regularly uses a purse.
She took the SATs.
She does errands on her own.
She held down the fort when MBB and I went away overnight.
She will get paid for working in camp this summer.
She enjoys a nice wine.
All milestones, all indicative of her getting older and more mature. But today, today is a milestone that is just making me tear up. Every time I think of it, I think of that moment after she was born, all swaddled in her blankets with a cute little hat, looking up at me. So serene, so peaceful, just looking at me with her big brown eyes, and then she blinked. Two big long blinks. She stole my heart.
Today seems to start a new chapter in her life, and by extension, ours as well.
Today she turns 18.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
It's Getting Clearer
I had a thought over the weekend. The same "rag" that blurred the face of the Statue of Liberty ran an ad trying to convince women and girls that they would have as much fun on Purim if they "stayed in their inner rooms," as they would have if they were in the more public rooms of their OWN HOMES when people (read: men and boys) came collecting.
Honestly, the idea that women should "stay in the tent,' is probably a right one, for the right time. But in a time when women are out in the world, why do we think it's OK, to pretend that in our world, it is the one place they cannot be out. I know I just said this in a previous post, but I thought of an extension. I mentioned before the idea that Tzniyus, and really the way a person dresses and acts, is a true reflection of their inside. Thus it is clear, that because there really are tzniyus issues, especially among those who should know better, it is merely a reflection of their insides.
Their insides are screaming:
"LOOK AT ME!!! NOTICE ME!!! I AM HERE AND I CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR SOCIETY AS WELL AS TO THE SOCIETY THAT YOU HAVE SENT ME OUT TO WORK IN. DO NOT PRETEND I DON'T EXIST, AND THAT I HAVE NO WORTH HERE,THAT I HAVE TO HIDE."
There is another people that covers up and hides its women and the Torah teaches us that they are the most promiscuous and amoral of all. Is that what we have become? Does every mention and thought of a woman need to be as an object? Can women really not be ANYWHERE for fear of what may happen to a male if she is?
Do these men who need to be shielded from the enticements of the modest women of our community shun working in Manhattan or going to any establishment that is not Heimishe?
They say the best way to get kids to love Yiddishkeit is to love it yourself and be truthful. Hypocrisy is the enemy of truth.
You betcha.
Honestly, the idea that women should "stay in the tent,' is probably a right one, for the right time. But in a time when women are out in the world, why do we think it's OK, to pretend that in our world, it is the one place they cannot be out. I know I just said this in a previous post, but I thought of an extension. I mentioned before the idea that Tzniyus, and really the way a person dresses and acts, is a true reflection of their inside. Thus it is clear, that because there really are tzniyus issues, especially among those who should know better, it is merely a reflection of their insides.
Their insides are screaming:
"LOOK AT ME!!! NOTICE ME!!! I AM HERE AND I CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR SOCIETY AS WELL AS TO THE SOCIETY THAT YOU HAVE SENT ME OUT TO WORK IN. DO NOT PRETEND I DON'T EXIST, AND THAT I HAVE NO WORTH HERE,THAT I HAVE TO HIDE."
There is another people that covers up and hides its women and the Torah teaches us that they are the most promiscuous and amoral of all. Is that what we have become? Does every mention and thought of a woman need to be as an object? Can women really not be ANYWHERE for fear of what may happen to a male if she is?
Do these men who need to be shielded from the enticements of the modest women of our community shun working in Manhattan or going to any establishment that is not Heimishe?
They say the best way to get kids to love Yiddishkeit is to love it yourself and be truthful. Hypocrisy is the enemy of truth.
You betcha.
Monday, February 20, 2012
How Is This A Good Thing?
This past Shabbos I was in a shul I have davened in only once before. There's a different Rabbi from the last time I was there, and so the announcement were different from what I remembered.
Each "Mazal Tov" was announced (I will use a generic name name for example purposes) as "Reb Chaim Schwartz and his family." Even for the family who had had a baby, this was the way it was announced. I cannot fathom what the reason could be that it could not be announced as "Reb Chaim and Mrs. Schwartz and their family"
What's the big deal you ask? Why does it matter if the woman's name isn't mentioned? Well, for one thing, by announcing it the way it was announced, the wife is equated with the children. The man and his wife are not equals, or partners. There is the man, and as my sister says "those people he lives with."
Second it is degrading to women who are sitting there to be lumped in as an afterthought. We cannot mention women, because apparently the mere mention and mere thought that there is a female will send men into the depths impurity.
But the real reason, and I am not being sarcastic with this one, is that women today are out in the world. They are working and providing for their families, and the younger women are often the sole breadwinners, providing all financial sustainability for their brood. They are smart and hard working, and need to be to keep their jobs. They are respected and they are appreciated and validated by co-workers, bosses and clients. And then they come back to their own communities where they are ignored. This is not a safe or healthy scenario. Women are human beings, most humans enjoy and even thrive on validation, appreciation, and respect. If they cannot find it in our circles, where will they go to look for it?
Ignoring women won't make them go away, it won't make them more Tziniyus, it won't make them love Torah, or bring them closer to Hashem.
If that's true, then what's the point?
Each "Mazal Tov" was announced (I will use a generic name name for example purposes) as "Reb Chaim Schwartz and his family." Even for the family who had had a baby, this was the way it was announced. I cannot fathom what the reason could be that it could not be announced as "Reb Chaim and Mrs. Schwartz and their family"
What's the big deal you ask? Why does it matter if the woman's name isn't mentioned? Well, for one thing, by announcing it the way it was announced, the wife is equated with the children. The man and his wife are not equals, or partners. There is the man, and as my sister says "those people he lives with."
Second it is degrading to women who are sitting there to be lumped in as an afterthought. We cannot mention women, because apparently the mere mention and mere thought that there is a female will send men into the depths impurity.
But the real reason, and I am not being sarcastic with this one, is that women today are out in the world. They are working and providing for their families, and the younger women are often the sole breadwinners, providing all financial sustainability for their brood. They are smart and hard working, and need to be to keep their jobs. They are respected and they are appreciated and validated by co-workers, bosses and clients. And then they come back to their own communities where they are ignored. This is not a safe or healthy scenario. Women are human beings, most humans enjoy and even thrive on validation, appreciation, and respect. If they cannot find it in our circles, where will they go to look for it?
Ignoring women won't make them go away, it won't make them more Tziniyus, it won't make them love Torah, or bring them closer to Hashem.
If that's true, then what's the point?
Sunday, February 19, 2012
What Will I Get For It?
It appears to me that the current generation of children (by those I mean young adults/young marrieds-there's still hope for the youngers, but barely...read on)) seems to be fairly self-focused. I will immediately say that I do not believe this to be true of all young people, and that plenty of them have a world view that goes past the end of their own noses, but many, unfortunately, are in the other camp. Now, I am not old enough to know if this is a recent phenomenon, or even if these people will eventually grow out of it, but I (of course) have a theory on potentially how this came to pass.
It is unlikely that this is the only reason, but it is certainly a prevailing trend that is not doing any of us any favors. What is this scourge that turns well meaning individuals into those looking to see what it means for them?
The "Chesed Prize."
Apparently today one cannot do work for an organization on a purely volunteer basis. One cannot collect goods or money for those less fortunate or institutions in need without some sort of tangible real world payoff, where the ante gets upped as the volunteers get older.
I understand the need to motivate some kids, and incentivize, but it has become so rampant that it seems that there are hardly any projects accomplished without a "prize" attached. From sodas, to trinkets that break within five minutes, to pizza parties, to grandiose trips, all good deeds come with some sort of, well, bribe. In discussing the collection of small bags of potato chips for a local hospital with one of the principals of one of the schools (where the student body would be helping to bring a small bag of deep fry solace to those who were in the hospital with a loved one), the question was raised what would the kids would be given for bringing in their chips.
This is the problem. We've taken the act of giving, of caring, of doing for others and made it about what we can get for ourselves. The worst part is, the children who are innately giving and caring are having that character trait diminished in themselves through these programs that insist you need to get to give. We've created selfishness in the realm of selflessness, and then we wonder why know one cares about anyone besides themselves.
Is this definitely why so many young people cannot (as I have said often) "get past themselves" to figure out a way to go a little out of their own comfort zone, or out of their way for others? And by others I don't necessarily mean strangers.And by out of the way it doesn't necessarily mean doing tasks and chores usually associated with "giving" or volunteering. Sometimes it takes some effort to figure out how to join a Simcha, even if it means driving far, getting a babysitter, and changing a schedule here and there. But we can do things for people in our lives. We can make an effort and not only do what comes simply. And if the payoff is rubber chicken and kids who are kvetchy, but we've made the effort and we show others that we care about them, and that they matter, then that's the payoff. Someone else's happiness. For one small disruption in our lives we've taken the feelings of someone else into account, dare I say, first. That doesn't mean every Simcha, or every event, but when family makes an event, or events by people we have a true connection with (and when you are young you don't have those every night)it may be the simplest act of Chesed to just show up.
We just need to be more focused on not always putting ourselves first. But in a culture where everyone needs to be happy without necessarily creating the opportunities to achieve true happiness, it's hard to find those who can really put others first. This is not about being someone who volunteers, or someone who is always giving. It's about being out in the world and not always assuming that others are out to get one over on you, or that you need to push your way forward, or be aggressive in driving, and just generally not give a thought to the people around you.
It is unlikely that this is the only reason, but it is certainly a prevailing trend that is not doing any of us any favors. What is this scourge that turns well meaning individuals into those looking to see what it means for them?
The "Chesed Prize."
Apparently today one cannot do work for an organization on a purely volunteer basis. One cannot collect goods or money for those less fortunate or institutions in need without some sort of tangible real world payoff, where the ante gets upped as the volunteers get older.
I understand the need to motivate some kids, and incentivize, but it has become so rampant that it seems that there are hardly any projects accomplished without a "prize" attached. From sodas, to trinkets that break within five minutes, to pizza parties, to grandiose trips, all good deeds come with some sort of, well, bribe. In discussing the collection of small bags of potato chips for a local hospital with one of the principals of one of the schools (where the student body would be helping to bring a small bag of deep fry solace to those who were in the hospital with a loved one), the question was raised what would the kids would be given for bringing in their chips.
This is the problem. We've taken the act of giving, of caring, of doing for others and made it about what we can get for ourselves. The worst part is, the children who are innately giving and caring are having that character trait diminished in themselves through these programs that insist you need to get to give. We've created selfishness in the realm of selflessness, and then we wonder why know one cares about anyone besides themselves.
Is this definitely why so many young people cannot (as I have said often) "get past themselves" to figure out a way to go a little out of their own comfort zone, or out of their way for others? And by others I don't necessarily mean strangers.And by out of the way it doesn't necessarily mean doing tasks and chores usually associated with "giving" or volunteering. Sometimes it takes some effort to figure out how to join a Simcha, even if it means driving far, getting a babysitter, and changing a schedule here and there. But we can do things for people in our lives. We can make an effort and not only do what comes simply. And if the payoff is rubber chicken and kids who are kvetchy, but we've made the effort and we show others that we care about them, and that they matter, then that's the payoff. Someone else's happiness. For one small disruption in our lives we've taken the feelings of someone else into account, dare I say, first. That doesn't mean every Simcha, or every event, but when family makes an event, or events by people we have a true connection with (and when you are young you don't have those every night)it may be the simplest act of Chesed to just show up.
We just need to be more focused on not always putting ourselves first. But in a culture where everyone needs to be happy without necessarily creating the opportunities to achieve true happiness, it's hard to find those who can really put others first. This is not about being someone who volunteers, or someone who is always giving. It's about being out in the world and not always assuming that others are out to get one over on you, or that you need to push your way forward, or be aggressive in driving, and just generally not give a thought to the people around you.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
SO...
So my dear blog readers. I hope that your lack of response to the previous post was just you being cautious, and I have not lost you all.
Another letter came today, her second choice (really she didn't want to go, but was told she had to apply to two places), and they "wait listed her." which means a rejection, but no one wants to say that.
HOWEVER:
SHE GOT IN TO HER FIRST CHOICE YESTERDAY!!!
We are so happy for her.
Another letter came today, her second choice (really she didn't want to go, but was told she had to apply to two places), and they "wait listed her." which means a rejection, but no one wants to say that.
HOWEVER:
SHE GOT IN TO HER FIRST CHOICE YESTERDAY!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
We are so happy for her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)