Sunday, January 29, 2012

Independence Day

With the world as crazy as it is, we have taken to sheltering our children, but perhaps it has gone too far.

I know things are different from the way they were twenty five years ago, but we are creating a generation of super dependent children. Aside from cell phones taking a way a young teenager's opportunity to navigate the world on her own, to many parents are to afraid to let  their kids go. Do they not trust them, or is this just another step in our "parenting from fear" policy?

When I was in eighth grade, and going forward I went into the city from the suburbs with a friend of mine every time we had vacation. We took the bus, we took the bus back, we stayed past dark, and our parents' input was a piece of paper with a few pertinent places we wanted to go to, and a crude map of Manhattan. Oh, and no cell phone.

My friends' kids went into the city with a complete plan and itinerary mapped out by their mothers, the other one went WITH her mother, and one of my daughter's friends (almost 18) was allowed to go if they left the city by the time it got dark. Hmm.

Living in the suburbs it is very hard to give our kids any freedom or independence. There are very few places they can go to themselves, and the culture around here is just very car-centric and not at all public transportation based. Thus, I was quite excited when my daughter got her licence, because now she has the ability and the necessity to navigate the world, and interact with people and life without her parents doing things for her. I guess I am unsure as to why a parent would resist allowing their older children the ability to become a productive member of society, a functioning social being able to navigate the world around them in a way that will eventually give them  maturity and a step into adulthood. 

I look at my eldest and I see the little eighteen month old who climbed out of her crib at nap time, the one who looked up at me with huge innocent eyes, as she played, her facing registering a "what? did I do something wrong?" expression.  It's hard to see her moving on, but that's what she needs, and that what shes up to, and it hurts, but I can't hold her back, and I want her to succeed.

When they sprout the wings, we  need to let them fly.

1 comment:

related said...

i will always worry when they and you drive. clipping wings takes away the ability to soar and explore but whatever our own views each kid is different and we have to respect where they are coming from related