The Ghost of Super Bowls Past: Part IV (The Married Years)

The saga of my Super Bowl experiences continues…

As Super Bowl XXVIII approached, I didn’t really know what to expect. This would be my first Super bowl as a married man, and FBB and I didn’t have a TV, so we’d have to figure out where to watch it. I don’t think FBB had ever watched the Super Bowl before, so I wasn’t sure whether or not she’d be interested.

We ended up watching the game at the small, basement apartment of a friend of mine. It was just the three of us: my friend, FBB and I. We watched the Buffalo Bills lose again, this time by a 30-13 score against the Dallas Cowboys.

FBB provided the food, including some homemade potato salad. We ate well, and enjoyed the experience, even though the game, as usual, wasn’t very close.
Even though I didn’t realize it at the time, that Super Bowl marked the first pairing of our nation’s ultimate sporting event with someone who would soon become the greatest party-thrower I have ever met. I’m referring, of course, to FBB. Over the years, I have attended many parties, both Super Bowl-related and otherwise, and NO ONE throws a party like FBB. Equally adept at home or on the road, with a dairy or meat-based menu, she has achieved legendary status in this area.

In fact, if I had one party to throw, with my reputation and everything else on the line, of all of the people in the world, I’d choose FBB to run the thing. She’s the Joe Montana of parties.

Of course, I’d like to think that she cut her party teeth on our Super Bowl parties during the 1990s.

The next year, FBB and I attended the Super Bowl party at the home of a close friend of mine. There were about three or four couples at the game, and the wives prepared the food. I believe that the host and I procured the soda.

We had a very nice time at this game, which was really over before I took a seat on the couch. The San Francisco 49ers scored on their third play of the game, en route to a 49-26 trouncing of the San Diego Chargers. At one point, the 49ers led 42-10. The food was good, of course, and I recall tasting pumpkin pie for the first time. I enjoyed it very much.

By the next year, we had moved to Queens, and it was finally time for us to host our own Super Bowl party. This was a watershed moment for us. FBB’s brother joined us for the game, as the Cowboys beat the Steelers 27-17. Pittsburgh’s quarterback, Neil O’Donnell, threw three interceptions in the game, including two that he threw directly to Larry Brown of the Cowboys. One of these interceptions was so hideous that I started to wonder if O’Donnell had gotten into some trouble in the mob, and had made a deal with them that he would throw the game, in return for his life. In retrospect, that theory doesn’t hold up, as the Cowboys didn’t end up covering the 13-1/2 point spread, and Neil O’Donnell is still alive (I think).

After the game, I walked my brother-in-law downstairs to his car, and we noticed that he had a flat tire. I “helped” him to change the flat tire, but frankly, I was not of much use. I’ve never been a skilled tire-changer. In fact, if you had one tire to change, with a lot riding on the outcome, you would definitely NOT want me to change your tire. I am NOT the Joe Montana of tire changing. I think that I am the Neil O’Donnell of tire changing.

The next year, we hosted another Super Bowl party at our home, as we watched the Green Bay Packers defeat the New England Patriots 35-21. As a Minnesota Vikings fan, I detest the Packers, and I wasn’t pleased that they won the Super Bowl. All was not lost, however. That year, for the first time, I made chili, using a recipe that I had found in a cookbook. The chili was good (I liked it, at least), and that game ushered in the “Super Bowl Chili Era,” which continues to this day.

There are many different ways to make chili, but no matter the specific recipe, there are two basic rules:
(1) Checking – and sampling – the chili every five minutes does NOT make it cook any faster.
(2) Despite Rule #1, I’m going to check the chili every 5 minutes anyway. It’s my chili, and I’ll try it if I want to.

The next year marked our final Super Bowl party in Queens, as the Denver Broncos finally won the franchise’s first Super Bowl after 4 losses, defeating the Green Bay Packers 31-24, in a very exciting game. It was nice to see John Elway, one of the most talented quarterbacks I’ve ever seen, finally win a Super Bowl title, and it was even more gratifying to watch the Packers lose.

We call that “football schadenfraude.”

(MBB note: IcebergCarwash has already copyrighted the phrase “football schadenfraude.” So, for those of you who were thinking of putting that catchy phrase on T-shirts, coffee mugs and the like, and then selling these items to the public, I’d advise you to cease and desist. We are very serious. Do not make us get our lawyers involved. They are a nasty bunch, and have not eaten much in the last three days).