I'm Sure There Are Good Ones Out There...Somewhere

Last night was my second daughter's elementary school graduation. She has finished that chapter of her life, and now will open the door to high school, and begin a new adventure.

They say that anything worth doing is going to be difficult. The harder something is, the more effort you put in, the more likely it is to stick.

In that case, she and all those in attendance have GRADUATED with a capital G.

Don't misread this. This girl is smart and works hard and thank God has no problems in school. I'm talking about the difficult, arduous, tedious, mind numbing, time sucking, sleep inducing, chair fidgeting, ceremony itself.

This particular school either does not know how to throw a decent graduation (and I've suggested a few things over the years!!!), or does not know how to choose decent speakers and programming....or both.

First, you know you're in for a long night when the Emcee gets up, and the first thing he does is explain why he's the emcee. No one cares. Second, when the same emcee announces there "are no words," and then continues to speak for five to seven minutes, it does not bode well for how things are going to proceed. But, it's my own fault for not realizing what was to come when he claimed someone needed "no introduction" and plowed on with one anyway. (MBB noted that he would love to hear someone introduced as "this next speaker really needs a whole lot of introducing, so here goes") Really, if you're going to use lots of cliches and platitudes in your speech, at least make sure they actual mean what you are trying to say. And again, we all have kids graduating and want to see them get diplomas, hear the class representatives, etc, etc., we do not really care about you and your personal story when it has no compelling lesson or connection to anything you said before or after said story.

Also, if you feel compelled to have a guest speaker at a graduation (which is really done all over, a keynote commencement speaker) then all other speakers do not have to give more than thanks to all of those who worked hard to help shape the students, some quick wise words for them to begin their new journey, and let's move on.

At least THIS year the guest speaker was good. His message was on target for these girls and was the equivalent in this world of the type of keynote speaker a major university would get, so kudos for that, but still, it was superfluous. ( as opposed to the year the guest speaker negated 8 years of hard work, and the coming four years of hard work by telling the girls they really didn't need to learn anything, and they could best serve God by serving....cookies!!!)

Equally superfluous was the performance the graduates put on, which mimicked every performance they've done, literally, since kindergarten. Stand up, say two lines, pass the mic.

The ideal ceremony would go thusly:

Processional, if you insist on an emcee, then one who gets up thanks the teachers principals administration, and then immediately calls up by NAME ONLY, the representative of the administration/principals, who gives a quick (no more than five minutes) words of wisdom speech, followed by the emcee ONLY introducing BY NAME the Valedictorians, their speeches, a quick slide show of these kids through the years (the school has pictures through all the grades), diplomas (gasp! awards, perhaps, though it's fine that they give them in private I think it would at least add an element of suspense to the proceedings) and recessional. Go home for cake and watermelon.

I'm sure this exists somewhere, and I've been to graduations at the high school my kids are in, and I have to say it's pretty good (the speeches are actually interesting, and quick, possibly also a function of there NOT being 95 kids in the grade!), but I've got three kids still in this elementary school, and one more still going. I doubt it'll ever change.

At least there's texting.