I have no problem with all men strolling over to the women's section during simchas that are separate seating (though I do enjoy giving certain people grief about it). I know to some people separate seating is silly, or ridiculous, and they say unnecessary halachackily, as long as there is a mechitza and separation for dancing. That may be true, but it isn't in practice.
I would like to know why there are so many men who find their way into the women's section during the dancing, especially during the second dance when they want to leave, and are looking for their wives while the dance floor is sparse and mostly filled with jiggling 20 year olds ( I am being kind and not referring to those men who must come in to shmooze with their wives). Either they should wait or find some one to find their wife without being in viewing range. It's unfair to the girls.
We spend all this time telling the girls about the lengths of their skirts and the visibility of their collar bones, and then these men come waltzing in where they don't belong, and now these mostly careful girls are dancing in front of their neighbors, their shul mates or their parents friends.
I am sure there are lots of rationalizations as to why it's really fiiiine to see young girls you know dancing and gyrating, and the answer is not "they shouldn't move like that." This goes back to this whole idea that tzniyus is for women, and men have no responsibility in it. It's wrong, and this and the tight suits, tight pants, and the way a lot of married women dress is further proof that the men just don't care.
If it looks good...go for it.
7 comments:
if they were really desperate to see the girls gyrations they could stand behind the mechitza and peek. the fellows I work with might do this!!so coming to pick up your wife might be just that. sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. there is life beyond dancing and evil thoughts related
But it's unfair to the girls. They don't have to be put in that position. The men don't belong there, they should stay out.
the solution is for men to come to the wedding with their wives, sit with their wives and leave with them. That would solve the problem and take away any excuses for being where they don't belong.
just cuz you're frum doesn't mean you're not a man.
they don't make up the tzniyus rules mainly women do
I'm not really sure what you are saying
Actually I think I do get it. And if you are a FRUM man you need to control certain things. That's one of the things that make you FRUM. Saying otherwise seems like an excuse.
this is definitely something that bothers me. as one of those girls who tries to be careful with tzniyus and knowing that just because i am wearing a skirt that is ok, i still have to pay attention to the things that are going on around me. its quite an akward feeling knowing you are being stared at, and then having to decide if you should just ignore it, or move out of the dance floor and jsut stand on the side and wait for them to move. and its men of all ages and levels of religiousity, and those who know the girls and those who dont!!
im deg with you on this disturbing situation!
just as an aside, when having mixed seating, unless you put up an extra mechitza (which ive only seen once!) then all the men who would rather sit then dance and were sitting on the side of hte ladies dance floor remain.. and then what?
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