GUEST BLOGGER

Though we don't often have guest bloggers, we felt this was a particularly interesting post by the ubiquitous commenter: DOOBIE....enjoy!

My son came home from shul the other day a bit upset. He had carefully moved a pair of glasses that were on the table in front of him out of the way so he could put his tallis and tefillin down. He wasn't careful to put them down on the arms and put the glasses down lens first. After davening the owner of the glasses came over to my son and told him that he had scratched his lenses and that it would cost him $200.00 to fix.

My son was surprised by that number and asked if he really thought it would be that much to replace. The man told him that maybe he will find out first how much it would cost to replace and let us know.

When my son got home he counted out some of the money he keeps in a safe at home and then told me about it. Of course I was outraged. I couldn't imagine it could cost that much just to replace a lens but I was even more surprised that so much damage could have occured by placing the glasses upside down. I of course jumped to the conclusion that the man was taking advantage of my son and trying to get a new pair of glasses out of a boy's mistake. (Though, my son probably should not have touched the man's stuff in the first place) When I spoke with my husband about it later, we decided to ask our Rav if our son was liable for the damage halachikly, and it turns out he was.

But to minimize the costs we decided we would call the man and ask him if we could take care of the replacement lenses ourselves. (Having an uncle in the eyecare business, I was hoping we could get it fixed for cheaper).

My husband called the man, and then told me that as soon as the man heard who was calling, he laughed. The whole thing was a JOKE meant to unnerve my son, worry him, or scare him, all of which it did. The man even mentioned that another boy watching this whole exchange thought it was funny too.

My son did not! Not when he couldn't imagine he did that much damage by something seemingly so innocuous, not when he asked if it would really cost that much, not when he had to call a Rav and say he might have damaged someone else's things, and not when he had an argument with his father about not doing things that might have big consequences even when seemingly small.

I so don't understand this type of joke. I have never understood or liked practical jokes. So much so, that I am likely to unfavorably judge anyone who does think these types of jokes are funny. To me, it seems that if the only way something is funny is if another person is embarrassed or scared or made fun of, it can't be that funny in the first place. Any joke that must be at someone else's expense is inherently not funny. It only makes the person playing the joke feel better. And for how long? They got a laugh at someone else's expense, and if lucky got others to laugh too- thereby making the butt of the joke more embarrassed and themselves the life of the party on another's cheshbon. This man likely left shul without giving it another thought. My son (and I) were bothered most of the day. At first because he was upset he had damaged the glasses (when that seemed so unlikely based on the action) then because that is a lot of money to pay for small mistake. Then a bit of embarrassment to call the Rav and admit the mistake. And most especially later when he found he was just the butt of a silly joke. I was bothered for most of the same reasons and in addition having had an argument with my husband about not being Dan L'chaf Zechus about the man asking for that kind of money for something that seemed so unlikely to me. So here we have a situation where one man (and possibly some onlookers) had a moment (or two) of thinking something is funny and as a result caused all sorts of anguish, embarrassment, argument and bad feelings.

Do you think it was worth the "joke?"