Wednesday, June 5, 2024

I'm Not Going in There. No One Has Been There for Years!

I have no idea why I'm putting these thoughts down here, at IcebergCarwash, of all places, when there hasn't been an real post in about EIGHT YEARS. However, I had an idea that I wanted to commit to "writing," and it's too long for a series of Whatsapp texts (or whatever medium the kids are using today).

This morning, I saw that Governor Kathy Hochul of NY had indefinitely postponed the implementation of the dreaded NYC congestion pricing (it's actually pronounced "tax"), which would have imposed a charge of $15 for passenger vehicles entering Manhattan below 60th Street. The plan, which was originally put in place by former Governor Andrew Cuomo, when he wasn't otherwise busy being creepy, was slated for implementation on June 30th. Even by New York City's (very low) standards, the congestion tax was an idiotic idea. 

One of the primary motives behind the tax was to help prop up the MTA's sagging finances. A large part of why the MTA's finances are sagging in the first place is the fact that they are providing their services for free to millions of people. I'm referring to fare beaters, also known as "turnstile jumpers," who are estimated to have cost the MTA a staggering $700 MILLION in 2023 alone. Based upon 2023 total paid subway and bus ridership of about 1.24 billion and the $2.90 fare, nearly 17% of the subway and bus trips in 2023 were not paid for. Put another way, 1 of 6 people is riding for free. The MTA's total deficit for 2023 was $600M. If everyone had paid, the system would run at a profit. I know that's oversimplifying things, but indulge me, please.  

Obviously, if the MTA did a better job of stopping the fare beaters, its finances wouldn't be so saggy. But how can they fix the problem, which is only getting worse, in dollar terms, every single year? 

Allow me to offer a financially viable solution.

My solution, which will also create jobs, involves placing two guards armed with baseball bats at each subway station, in shifts covering an entire 24 hour day, 7 days a week. As a purist, I'd prefer wooden bats, as opposed to aluminum ones, but I'm willing to be flexible on this topic. The guards would stand just inside the turnstiles, and would beat anyone caught attempting to evade the fare. I think you need at least two guards at each station, so that one guard could continue to watch for fare beaters while the other one is administering a beating. I'm not a social scientist, but I think that the beatings (and pictures/videos of these interactions posted on social media) would serve as a very strong deterrent. Presumably, some people would still manage to slip through the turnstiles and get into a subway car, but you'd eliminate the bulk of that $700M black hole.

As for the financial viability, let's do the math. Say we were paying $25 per hour, which is a very attractive rate, in my opinion, especially given that the job comes with the nearly irresistible perk of being able to administer beatings with a baseball bat. For a 24 hour day, that's $600 per day, or $219,000 per year. With 2 people at each station in round-the-clock shifts, that's $438,000 per year, per station. There are 472 subway stations in the NYC system. This comes to approximately $206M in cost for the "beat the beater" program. If this program did nothing more than cut the $700M in half (and I'd expect it to be a lot more effective than that), it would generate a return on investment of about 70%. 

This plan could get the MTA into the black, while creating jobs and potentially giving some of the millions of mentally ill citizens of New York City an opportunity to harness their rage and aggression for a good cause. 

We don't need congestion pricing. We need creative ideas like this one.